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Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

What are some of the challenges people face when inviting people in?

OMG there can be so many! 

 

For me when we talk about inviting in, the most important thing to think about is intersectionality. This is the idea that even though we might share one kind of experience, but our other experiences might be-- like for example we might be both be queer, but you might be a person of colour. Our experiences of discrimination are sort of intersected  by other parts of our identity. 

 

The thing is that coming out or inviting in is an intersectional experience. So if you're a person who is white and able bodied and your parents are both english speaking and went to university, your experience of inviting your parents into that part of your identity will be pretty different to the experience of, say, a person who is from a non-English speaking background, or a person who is queer and has a disability. 

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

@OceanMaster1207 Really well said. Just really highlights the need for people to access LGBTIQA+ supportive services to be able to explore their identity in a safe environment.

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

@Ben-RO so you mean not sharing with everyone, just people we want to?
I think yes. I mean, okay. I am preparing a post to answer this and I will post it soon. Smiley Happy

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Ah so many good answers to my tricky question! 

I really like the food analogy @Bay52VU although i think we even will have to accept it's okay to accept people who eat new Shapes for the horrible people they are Smiley Tongue

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Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Time for the next question:

 

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

@Ben-RO I think mayb in that utopian future diversity would be celebrated and also not assumed. People may still ask questions from a place of generous playful curiousity...?

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

 Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

 

No, you do not have to invite everyone in. Many of our personal experiences we have we do not share with everyone. Although, to some extent we do have to share with everyone, as people will make assumptions and see you being yourself, thereby inviting them all in to an extent. How much you invite someone in is up to you.

|| Life runs in cycles, the wheel never stops turning, no matter how dark the night morning comes, no matter how cold the winter, spring comes. When you feel despair know that the wheel is turning, joy will come. ||

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

I don't think so. I feel like people often judge others who aren't out in every single area of their life because they feel they are somehow not being their true self. I personally think that's silly because it's so much more complicated than that for reasons we have already been talking about (safety etc). Only the individual can choose who they want to let in.

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

 

 

Again I think this is a personal preference- some people want everyone to know and some people might just tell their family and close friends. I've stuck to family and close friends, just because for me my sexuality is a small part of who I am and is only really relevant if I'm going to introduce a bf to the fam Smiley LOL

Re: [Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

No. You don't have to invite everyone in if you don't want you. Why? Because it's YOUR identity and you have the right to share what's yours. That sounded a bit dramatic, I'm sorry. My thumb is getting numb. But, I mean, when I shared my mum the website, I told her to share it (in fact, I encouraged it because I wanted family to know without having to tell them). But you don't have to do that, you can keep it private. You can do whatever you want.

Do what makes you comfortable. Do what makes you feel safe. Do what makes you happy. Smiley Happy