[Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

[Bay52VU]

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

Nope. It's up to every person to decide for themselves who they want to tell and in what timeframe. Some people will want the whole world to know at once. Some people will only be comfortable with telling a few people from one part of their lives and no one from another part. I think it's about what feels comfortable and safe based on their relationships with other people.

[milohunto]

Also maybe it would be cool if some of that asking became common practice? Like asking for pronouns, for example...

[Ben-RO]

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

Definitely not it's 100% your choice and okay to never tell anyone, or tell absolutely everyone! So the tricky thing is deciding who you want to invite in and who you don't and why or why not! Interested to hear on what sort of things might mean that a person decides not to invite certain people in and what might help you decide it's a great time to share @Bobby-Twenty10 @milohunto?

[redhead]

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

You don't have to, it's completely up to you who you let know.

Me personally I'm really open about being gay but it took me a while to get there and it's not usually something I share unless it comes up.

[Ben-RO]

I agree @milohunto pronouns in particular are things we should just get comfortable with asking i reckon or if not asking, then making sure people feel heaps comfortable to share theirs. @Bay52VU Made a heaps good thread so that we can share our Pronouns  

[Rainbow Lane]

Well said @N1ghtW1ng to all of the above. Especially -  "Do what makes you happy" <-- YES! As long as you aren't hurting anyone, why should it matter?

[N1ghtW1ng]

@Ben-RO In a nonheteronormative society, you wouldn't have to come out or invite anyone in because they aren't assuming thay you're something you're not. Part of coming out is sharing who you are, being honest with yourself and others who you invite in.
Of course, you can still share who you are, but in that world, it would be less inviting in than informing others.

Does that make sense? This is for a nonheteronormative(is that right?) world though.

[milohunto]

I think it can be really handy to think about whether or not it's safe to invite folks in, what the worst outcome could be, and what you might be able to do if that happens-- for example, if you decide to invite in with your folks, what would the worst that might happen? What measures could you take? 

It can also be really useful to road test things like new pronouns or names with some close folks you feel comfortable with.

[N1ghtW1ng]

@Rainbow Lane Although, you can still hurt people. BUT the people you hurt are the people who don't accept the differences from the norm. EXCEPT those people don't matter.

To use modern language...
Don't let the haters stop you from being you.

[Bobby-Twenty10]

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

It really varies from context to context. For example in a workplace, there are no mandates to disclose sexual orientation or gender identity. I think it depends on whether the context has proven to be a safe space to do so. There may be a supportive manager, or coworker that helps to open a space to provide information to other workers. Facilitating processes where coworkers are asked to use gender affirming pronouns or chosen names.

[Bobby-Twenty10]

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

It really varies from context to context. For example in a workplace, there are no mandates to disclose sexual orientation or gender identity. I think it depends on whether the context has proven to be a safe space to do so. There may be a supportive manager, or coworker that helps to open a space to provide information to other workers. Facilitating processes where coworkers are asked to use gender affirming pronouns or chosen names.