AMAA: Change with Psychologist Rashida

[Janine-RO]

That thread of familiarity is such a good tip @GuestPsychologist1 - I know when I started uni, I wasn't prepared for just how alien it would feel at first! I went from a relatively small school campus to an absolutely huge university, and having a few things that felt familiar was really grounding and comforting. 

I think there will be a lot of people in the community who may really resonate with this one: 

My body is going through some changes and it makes me feel self conscious. Do you have some advice for that?

[GuestPsychologist1]

Oh for sure - I can resonate with this one also, I remember my body going through so many changes (it still is) and how much emotion/ self-conscious feelings it brought about.

I would practice re-focusing your attention on the things your body is still able to do despite the changes taking place. I would also allow the feelings and emotions to come up as there can be an experience of ‘ambiguous grief’ in change - grieving the parts of our self that are changing and honouring those parts as well as that grief.

[GuestPsychologist1]

Remember - our body is made to change, it needs to change in order to accomodate for every new life stage we enter. 

[Janine-RO]

I've never heard of that concept of 'ambiguous grief' in change @GuestPsychologist1  and I really love it - I remember when I was recovering from quite a bad injury and was suddenly restricted in what I could do, there was a real sense of grief and loss there. 

This next question comes from one of our instagram followers: 

I lost my dream job because of the virus - I need help please!!  How can I cope with changes in life that are out of my control? 

[GuestPsychologist1]

That is so tough, i’m sorry you are going through that. 

As mentioned before - honing back in on the things that are within our locus of control. 

Acceptance that things are sometimes outside of our control can be scary, frustrating and can feel really unfair - especially like losing your job because of the pandemic. Allow yourself to grieve, shout, cry - and then practice channeling that emotion into things within your realm of control in order to feel a sense of empowerment. Mapping out the next steps you could take, with someone you find supportive, will help anchor you. 

[Janine-RO]

This question is one that we definitely talk about quite a lot in this community, and it's one that I know can be especially tough as people hit their mid twenties, and may age out of a bunch of different services/ leave uni and the support staff there: 

Do you have some tips on how to deal with changing psychologists/support people? Aging out of services is something that really makes me nervous and it would be good to know how to prepare myself

[GuestPsychologist1]

Definitely a scary thought. When you find amazing support people or a great Psychologist it can feel extremely saddening and distressing to know you may need to move on due to age; Knowing you have found it once before means that it is highly likely you will be able to find another group of support people and Psychologist who you connect with once again. The practice of vulnerability and of being engaged in services will allow for you to have a better awareness of what you need in your future support people and help you know what is going to feel like the right fit. - View it is a head start, having already been involved in great services.

I would speak to your current support people or Psychologist about these feelings, allow them to help support you in finding new services and be present for that transition period. I would do some research independently as well as alongside your current support networks into what you are hoping for and looking for in your new Psychologist and then have a look at a few different profiles of people to get an idea of if you think they would be the right fit.

Remember you are able to interview your Psychologist or support people and ask them questions in order to check if they are the right fit - we know that the therapeutic relationship is one of the most important, if not the most important factor of therapy working well so it’s ok for you to ‘shop around’ for the right person.
Also remembering that moving out of certain life stages will potentially result in you wanting to get support for different things - which will require the skill of people more suited to work with that new stage of life you’re in. 

[Janine-RO]

I love the idea of those lessons of vulnerability being something that we can carry on to future experiences and support people - 

That actually leads in perfectly for our final question for this evening: 

What are some of the positives about change?

[GuestPsychologist1]

I truly believe there are SO many positives to change.

One thing i haven’t mentioned yet tonight but is a huge positive byproduct of facing change is the building of RESILIENCE. - The more resilience we build, the easier changes become, even the more difficult changes.

Also the different pathways change can bring that we never envisioned. When we become inflexible to our journey or path in life changing, is when the change can become daunting and not feel so great. When we become more flexible and occupy the ‘grey’ area - we are able to re-frame changes as positives and recognise the opportunities that may come our way due to those change that we might never have had before. 

[Janine-RO]

@GuestPsychologist1  what a perfect way to wrap up tonight's chat - I love the idea of different paths revealing themselves in ways we never could have envisioned, that's definitely something that I've found in my own life. 

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom here, we've absolutely loved having you!!!  Thanks @Lost_Space_Explorer5  and @WheresMySquishy  for joining us - I can also see that we've had quite a few people reading the forums tonight as well, it can be difficult being vulnerable and having these conversations, so I also wanted to give a massive shout out to all of the people who submitted questions tonight. 

Thank you all so much!!