AMAA: Change with Psychologist Rashida

[GuestPsychologist1]

So knowing that - Coping with criticism can be really difficult -

I think it is important to reflect on a couple of things.

Who is providing the criticism and what is their place in your life - are they attempting to better support you v’s what we can imagine to feel like making things more difficult for you.
Has their criticism touched on something you value about yourself or does their criticism not match with your experience of who you know yourself to be and is that maybe why it is causing a sensitivity 

[Janine-RO]

@GuestPsychologist1  I find it super interesting to think about the hard wired tendencies that we have that may have been protective, or may be protective in some circumstances, but can end up being really unhelpful at times! 

This next question does relate a bit to the last one and I'm really interested to hear the answer to this one! 

Hi Rashida! In the past I have had negative changes that have impacted a huge part of my life but now I seem to view ALL change, even good, as stressful and scary. Do you have any advice or strategies that can be used to reframe this negative mindset into a positive one? Thank you

[GuestPsychologist1]

Thanks for this question - and all of the questions tonight, i know that asking questions that are attached to difficult times in your life requires a lot of vulnerability! 

[WheresMySquishy]

I'm gonna head off now, but it was great chatting to everyone! Thanks for doing this @GuestPsychologist1.

[GuestPsychologist1]

It sounds like you have great awareness regarding why some of these new changes are eliciting a reaction of stress or fear - due to the changes you have gone through in the past - which is a great start to gently challenging whether these new or upcoming changes are requiring the same level of fear. We have a saying ‘neurons that fire together, wire together’ - meaning, the more often we feel something the more likely we automatically feel that and can start believing it. Remember feelings don’t always equal facts. Although you might be feeling like the change is scary and stressful doesn’t mean it actually is. 

If you have some awareness that even positive changes are eliciting this automatic response of fear and stress - it may be helpful to write down all the evidence to show that it doesn’t require that emotional response and the reasons why it is a more positive change. Then repeating this to re-affirm it each time the stress or fear surfaces. 

[GuestPsychologist1]

@WheresMySquishy Thanks for joining! So great to have you be a part of this convo.

[Janine-RO]

@GuestPsychologist1  feelings don't always equal facts - I love that!!!

This one is a bit of a change of pace, but I think it's definitely one that's really relevant for people at this time of year - 

What are some tips for going from school to university? 

[Janine-RO]

Great to have you here, @WheresMySquishy ! 

[GuestPsychologist1]

It can be a big change from school to university - I would say keeping a thread of familiarity in your days; Creating a ritual that you can continue on even when you transition out of school and into university - whether that be practicing some mindfulness and breathework at the same time each morning and night; or finding a favourite pen and taking it with you from school into university - allowing a sense of being grounded and anchored in something familiar.
Also i would do some research about fun things going on at your new university - clubs, groups, sporting teams, or any activities that you may be able to get involved in and have to look forward to - also a great way to develop a good network and social group around you at university if you don’t know too many people going to the same uni as you from school.

[GuestPsychologist1]

I would also invest in a good diary or calendar you can keep in a spot easy to see so that you can visually see what is due, what events are coming up etc - remember to also include fun activities on there as well as assignment due dates or exams.