Ask A Pro Live: Bi-Visibility

[WheresMySquishy]

@Hozzles  I've seen something similar too! I've heard people say that if you identify as a particular member of the LGBTIQA+ community, you're not allowed to like certain things.
It's confused me so much. I think that everyone is different and should be allowed to talk about what they think is attractive to them.

[AnthonyBisexual]

yes for sure and we can start to patholigise ourselves, we start to think negatively about ourselves. Or... we become anxious about coming out to people as bisexual because of their assumptions and negative ideas that people may hold, so we withhold our disclosures in order to stay safe from discrimination, its not to be 'secretive or deceptive' which is another myth

[Bre-RO]

I love what you said here @WheresMySquishy 

 I think that everyone is different and should be allowed to talk about what they think is attractive to them.

[AnthonyBisexual]

oh yes i hear that term as well, there is also the term 'gold-star gay' which means a male who has never had sex with a woman, and then there is 'platinum gay' for men who were born via a cesarean and so never passed though a women's vagina, therefore being more 'pure' gay.....this is so sick and gay misogyny is real! its sexist and biphobic and well as other phobias

[WheresMySquishy]

@AnthonyBisexual  I've never heard that term before but wow, I'm floored.

[Hozzles]

Gay misogyny is definitely a thing that needs to be talked about more! There's so many stereotypes within the community that no one seems to want to address. 

I'm not sure if you mentioned it (I was on my phone before and just moved to my laptop, ahah), but another stereotype I can think of is: all bi woman are actually straight and just want male attention, and all bi men are secretly gay and just in the closet. Ugh, again there's that misogyny. 

[Bre-RO]

I've heard of the "gold star lesbian/gay" but wow platinum is taking it to a whole new level. 

[Bre-RO]

@Hozzles Yep that is another really harmful myth! It sucks that people spread those ideas but on the flip side it's so great that we have awesome people like Anthony to bust the myths and give the truth about the Bisexual community  

[AnthonyBisexual]

Great question. We know from one of Australia's largest ever study on bisexual mental health (check out the Who I Am study by Julia Taylor) that the B experience higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicidality than the L and the G and heterosexual people. This is true for cisgendered bi people and especially trans and gender diverse bi+ people....the specific reasons for this are complex, but namely because of monosexism, biphobia, bi-erasure and bi-invisibility. This can lead people to feeling isolated, deny their own authentic selves, make it hard to talk about your relationships or attractions, and so bi+ people can experience minority stress, often alone
Bi+ people are often assumed to be straight of their partner is opposite gender and gay/ lesbian if the gender of their partner is the same gender, therefore NEVER bisexual, this means that bi+ people often have to explain themselves and come out, which means being subjected to scrutiny, suspicion and discrimination

Interestingly, bi+ people in opposite gender relationships had worse mental health than bi+ people in same-gender relationships

[Hozzles]

There's also the myth that bi people can't date/ be attracted to trans or non-binary people, which I think might relate to another question?