[SPECIAL GUEST] Family Dramas

[Carp]

Neglect might be more passive, but is still a type abuse - lack of care, constantly ignoring, and a lack of needs being met. Abuse can be more direct and aggressive but they are both a form of violence!

Violence/abuse comes in all forms- emotional, verbal, physical, social, financial, sexual, technological/cyber, harassment and neglect. All these can and do hurt.

[Ben-RO]

So we started by thinking about what is okay for us, now let's think of this question from the other direction, how we act towards others. 

How do you make sure that the way you are acting towards other people makes them feel safe?

[j95]

abuse definitely isn't just physical stuff, it is being treated how you shouldn't be treated and that can happen in heaps of ways!

[Sydel SECASA]

i think it;s also important to note that they are both types of abuse, whether intentional or not 

[Carp]

Well theres a number of things to look for and consider. It all comes down to good communication- this might be verbal dialogue or body language. If you’re not sure, then ask instead of assuming
We see a lot of ppl getting into trouble because they didn’t ask for sexual consent. If someone is silent or have their arms crossed or turn away, its a sign they might be uncomfortable

[Carp]

yep its also verbal, emotional, social and more!

[Ben-RO]

How do you make sure that the way you are acting towards other people makes them feel safe?

Well the easiest way to do this is to think about what you're okay or not okay with! If you know what you're not cool with, you can get a pretty good indication of what other people are going to think is a good way to be treated. It also doesn't hurt just to ask someone though, because what we might be cool with might totally freak someone else out or vice versa people have all sorts of preferences for how they would like to interact with you. 

[safari93]

How do you make sure that the way you are acting towards other people makes them feel safe?

You could ask, but I think it helps to have set up a relationship dynamic where you've made it clear that honesty is appreciated and that the person won't be punished or hurt for expressng their needs. I think it's important to be aware of the other person's feelings, and if/when they call you out or ask you to do something to look after their needs or safety, try not to make it about yourself

[redhead]

How do you make sure that the way you are acting towards other people makes them feel safe?

I like the term do unto others as you want to be treated. Ask yourself if you would want someone to act towards you like your acting.

[stonepixie]

How do you make sure that the way you are acting towards other people makes them feel safe?

I think about whether or not I would be okay if someone else was acting that way towards me. Sometimes is can be difficult because what is okay for one person is not okay with another. Generally, someone's body language will tell you if they are okay with it or not. I also seek verbal clarification if I pick up on this.