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One of the anonymous qus we got sent for tonight is:


“I want to start presenting differently to feel more like myself, but I'm worried that people will make incorrect assumptions about my reasons for "changing" or about my sexuality. I don't want to 'come out' or start a conversation - I just want to feel like a more authentic version of myself. Is there anything I can do to combat those worries and just get started, and what should I say if/when people try to ask me about it?"                                                                                      

My answer is:

I know this sort of circumstance can be tough – when you want to affirm who you are without having to spend heaps of time explaining all of what it means (and doesn’t mean!) Feeling ready to make some changes like this can feel easier if you plan for a few possibilities. It’s understandable if people want to check in with where you’re at when you’re changing things up too, so having some really simplified explanations that work for you can be a good way to go. Some short responses like:

“I’m just being a more authentic version of myself”

“I’m just doing me”

“I just wanted to express myself differently” /more freely / accurately/ truthfully”

“I’m just exploring gender expression”

“I just feel more comfortable this way”

 …or that kind of thing could work for some of us. I know I personally vary in my responses depending on who’s asking, and the where and when of the circumstances. So have a think through who and what circumstances you might vary your responses to questions that you’re worried about and maybe have a few versions of answers to those questions.

You might also feel like having some useful info resources in mind and at the ready to give to people so they can inform themselves and not have to rely on you explaining yourself to them. When I came out about my gender diversity more widely I used the following resource in particular:

Reachout’s gender diversity info is pretty handy too:

And one of my other faves is Beyond Blue’s Families Like Mine resources which as a super good Gender Diversity section (pp. 28-46) J

Aaaand then, once you feel like you’re as prepared as possible, you just have to jump in and do the things you want to do to feel more comfortable. Sometimes, after lots of preparation and anticipation, people barely notice or respond to the changes. Other times you’re really glad you thoroughly prepared yourself!

Do any of you have anything you'd say to answer this?


Haha so many links and info Smiley Happy Good stuff Smiley Very Happy



Also, go easy on yourself - if you need to say something that isn't the whole truth or is a way of getting the situation over with if you're not feeling up to it, that's OK. Sometimes I've just said that cutting my hair was more practical, or that wearing a binder is better for my back. That's partly true but not the whole story, but it was all I could manage saying at the time and THAT"S ALL GOOD. We have to be kind and generous with ourselves and that means working with the spoons we have at the time Smiley Happy


Yeah Soz @Bay52VU - I have a lot to say on this topic if you couldn't tell Smiley Wink


Another question we got sent in advance of tonight is:


"A lot of people seem to say that gender is binary, and that anyone who doesn't believe they fit within the two categories is deluded, sick, and/or just trying to be "special" or get attention. Are they right or wrong, and how do you know? "     


The gender binary is certainly socially constructed – based on many stereotypes and cultural aspects.


Despite what we’re commonly taught, even physiological sex isn’t binary as intersex people make up about 1.7% of people. This makes intersex differences about as common as red hair. Find out more about intersex here:


But there are a range of gender customs across the world that are neatly illustrated with this fab map that I posted earlier


Even the British Museum has a collection that shows gender diversity throughout history



So yup they’re wrong basically Smiley Wink hahaha *cheeky*


And that's a wrap! What an awesome chat ! Thanks so much for stopping by @Rainbow Lane @Dani FC @Bay52VU @j95 @FootyFan26! So good to have you all on board! If you have any more questions or thoughts about gender, it's totes okay to make a thread and start talking about it! For now, it's time for me to have a snooze! See y'all real soon!



Thanks everyone! Loved stopping by for such awesome gender diversity chats Smiley Happy


Thanks  @Dani FC @Rainbow Lane @Ben-RO Smiley Happy



Wow, what a night! So much learning and so many good resources to check out!

Would like to thank everyone who contributed tonight; it was amazing talking to you all! Would also like to say a special thanks to @Dani FC for teaching us so much about gender diversity. If you want to learn more about Freedom Centre head to Also thanks to @Ben-RO for being amazing and organising this session Smiley Happy

Be sure to take a look through the entire thread for all the resources/links and videos included in tonight's discussion. And again, remember to look after yourself! We've talked about a lot tonight. If you want to talk to someone one on one in an emergency situation, check out this link. If you want to talk about sex, sexuality and gender with someone one on one, call QLife!




Righto, I'm off to re-watch all the excellent gender diversity videos on the youtubes YAY XD