[Special guest] Twenty10 talks about coming out.

[RecoveryandHope]

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

I like people to get to know me first and then only if it is necessary will I let them know about my own sexuality, i believe it's no ones business who I am attracted to or love. I do kind of enjoy those moments when i let people know  I am gay and they appear shocked and tell me that I don't act like a gay person, then i get to educate them that we're actually just people, we come in all different shapes and no I'm not going to share my rainbow unicorn with them.

[milohunto]

Such good points. Although i think it can be really kinda fabulous and amazing to ask certain kinds of questions right? Like when someone asks me for my pronouns, I'm always like yeah, this how it should be! 

[Rainbow Lane]

Side note: I think sometimes when we come out to the people closest to us after everyone else close to us, they can sometimes get offended. Like "why didn't you tell me first." I like to think of it as, they mean SO MUCH to you that you want to test it out with others first (one way of looking at it anyway).

[Bobby-Twenty10]

I wonder about how those fears of hurting people and wanting to protect them can sometimes be the barrier to allowing them closer to you?

[Rainbow Lane]

@N1ghtW1ng I guess what I mean by hurting is you're not trying to hurt them. Obviously people can get hurt when some does or doesn't come out, but that's because assumptions were made about an individual in the first place, and it has nothing to do with that individual. Yes - #hatersgonnahate

[Bobby-Twenty10]

@Rainbow lane - That's totally valid to open up to some people before those who are closest to you as then you know that there are people who support you for who you are even if others may find it harder to accept

[Ben-RO]

Okay time for another question. We've talked about when now it's time to talk  a little more about how. 

If you decide to invite your friends and family, It’s important you do it in a way that makes you feel comfortable and safe. What’s the best way to tell your family and friends for you?

[milohunto]

Do you think you have to invite everyone in? Why or why not?

Definitely not! I think there are absolutely no rules about you and your identity-- only you really know what's right, appropriate and safe for YOU. 

I think there's a lot of pressure on folks who don't fit the white/cis/hetero/able bodied mould to like 'declare' your difference to everyone, and that's got way more to do with the way that mainstream society feels about difference and absolutely nothing to do with what you owe people. 

[N1ghtW1ng]

If you decide to invite your friends and family, It’s important you do it in a way that makes you feel comfortable and safe. What’s the best way to tell your family and friends for you?
Well, I have already invited my parents, and to do so I used a website. I think I was lucky too, to be away, that way I wouldn't have to physically speak (a weakness of mine)
They pretty much know I'm asexual and I always tell people no, I'm not going to get married or anything.

[Ben-RO]

Boom @milohunto dropping the truth bombs!