Let's Chat: Body Image

I'm really loving reading everyone's stories and tips about cultivating a healthy body image. 🙂

@JullyBean  I like your idea about not labelling different foods as being bad or good. My doctors recently told me to avoid a bunch of different foods to help with my medical conditions and it's been super hard to not obsess over what I can and can't eat and whether following the recommendations will affect my weight. It can also be really confusing listening to all the conflicting advice out there. One doctor says to avoid something, but another doctor says to have it to reduce a separate condition. I don't eat a lot of the 'foods to avoid' anyway but that hasn't stopped me from developing these conditions. I think in my case, much of the reason I have these problems is because there is a strong family history of them and I can't change my genes.

It has made my day to read through this thread! Thanks to everyone who has shared how they feel about body image. 

@HelloHi just wanted to send you some love. It sounds like you're really hurting at the moment. I wanna point out that you want to know how to be healthier and that is the first step towards creating new healthy habits. It's not easy and it doesn't happen overnight but it's possible. Do you have anyone in your life who could support you to make some healthy goals? 

@WheresMySquishy thanks for sharing your story too! I also went through similar issues with body hair. I used to feel so much shame about it and obsess over it. When you do that, it's like the only thing you can see in the mirror is that one part. I'm happy to read that you have come to a place of acceptance  

@Anonymous thank you for sharing your experience with body image. It sounds like you have had a really balanced reflection of where your body image views came from. I think what you said here is really valuable for people to read who are struggling

''Some things that helped me improve my body image: finding unrelated things to passionately invest in, building a full life. Reflecting on my values (I no longer see it as valuable to always be comparing and competing- it's sometimes still a gut response, but I know it's not helpful and I check myself and don't let it drive me. Realising flaws in what I'd been raised to believe and forming new beliefs). Reflecting on where my body image views came from''

@JullyBean thank you for your bravery too! I can relate to developing bad body image due to bullying. Unpacking your experiences and realising where certain traits have come from is so helpful in moving through it and leaving those barriers behind - good on you for being on that journey 🙂 I love your point about moving your body in a way that feels good - I think that is key to starting exercise 

Hey @Lost_Space_Explorer5 I'm really happy that reading through everyone's experiences here has made you feel less alone. You are definitely not alone with this and we are here to support each other through it 🙂 

Aw @HelloHi that must be really hard..do you think chatting with a counselor about this could be helpful? 

It's ok if you're unsure @HelloHi, a lot of people find it difficult to find it hard to know where to get help from. Do you have a school counsellor you could talk about some of this with? If you're unsure you can always ask a teacher or someone in your school office about seeing the school counsellor, and they can point you in the right direction 🙂 

I can understand why you'd be frustrated and suspicious of her if she broke your trust like that. When counsellors start a new session with someone, they normally have to talk about confidentiality, and when/why they might have to break it. Did your counsellor explain this to you?

@HelloHi I just wanted to pop in here to say we are here for you, and send a big virtual hug!

I feel like I understand a bit of what you went through with the counsellor at school. I have had many really unpleasant encounters with counsellors in the past, and became really put off the whole thing. Counsellors are just like everyone else, some people you just don't really mesh well with.

I am glad to hear you are safe and finding that this community is offering you some of the support you need. For me personally, I was put off counselling for a long time after my bad experiences, however, at the end of last year I was able to find somebody who really helped me a lot and made me feel heard and valid. It really doesn't have to be a counsellor, but having someone to talk to that listens and makes you feel heard is so helpful. What I am really trying to say is that I can relate to feeling like people just totally don't understand what you're going through, and that's okay, they just haven't been there. But, also please don't stop looking for those people and hold it all in. In my own experiences there is always someone out there who will understand and make you feel so much better, it's just about having the confidence to seek them out.

I feel like i've waffled on a lot, but I hope this helps, and people here are 100% here for you as well

Hi @Lottie,
Thank you for your kindness and support. Sending you a big virtual hug too. 🙂

I understand what you mean about being put off from counselling, i used to chat reguarly to KHL counsellors but now I just can't be bothered, because I know they aren't going to understand. Also the waiting time is really long, which also puts me off. I really dislike how they say "we have 30min today", its like they aren't giving enough time or a time limit to open up and it feels uncomfortable.

I am extremely glad that you were able to find someone who helped you. That is really good. 🙂

Thank you for being so kind to me and you really helped me.
Thank you again.
🙂

Hey @HelloHi, 

I'm so glad to hear that I've been able to help in some small way 🙂 

I can see why your experiences have put you off! It sounds really tough, and I can totally understand that having someone make you feel rushed through things, especially when you've had to wait so long to see them, would be really disheartening. I feel as though I've had similar things happen, there is long wait time and limits to the number of sessions you're allowed so it can feel like starting from scratch time and time again having to explain why you're there over and over. It's off putting. 

I've personally started going to see headspace. I can't really say if they would be any better for you, however personally I've found it a much more accomodating service than places I've been in the past. But, I can also understand completely if you are just not interested in looking for a counsellor again at the moment. 

I did want to ask though, do you maybe have a friend that you are able to open up to about somethings? It's not the same as counselling of course, but maybe just a less structured situation to talk about these things with someone could be helpful?

It can be really hard opening up to people, especially those you are close to. I know I am still guilty of trying to pretend I am happier or more put together than I am in front of people I love because I don't want them to worry. That said though, I have personally found than when I have had the courage to open up to my friends about things it often turns out they are going through similar things. I think if anything it has brought my friendships closer when I am honest about how I am feeling. 

It's a tough one to navigate, and of course if it doesn't feel right or you don't feel comfortable you don't need to do it. But yeah, maybe have a think on who you could have a go at talking to?

Let me know if you think either of those things could be an option. 

Hi @HelloHi, 

I just wanted to pop back on to this chat that we were having. Sorry for disappearing a bit. 

I just wanted to check in with how your week this week has been really? Is there anything you've tried this week to bring a bit more positivity in to your days, or maybe something you could plan for this week coming up?

For me, I have been trying to do some kind things this week for people to show I care. Their reactions has really had a positive affect on me. I sent my friend a surprise housewarming gift, as she has just moved to another city. She didn't know it was coming, but was super excited when it arrived, and honestly the anticipation of waiting for it to arrive and then receiving the news she had and was very excited was the same, if not better, as receiving a gift myself. I also sent something to my parents, who don't live in Australia, just to let them know that I love them, I miss them, and I appreciate the time they take to chat to me on the phone every few days. They're just little things, but they've made me feel better about missing home and missing my friends. Their excitement has made me so happy as well. 

Obviously, that example is very specific to me, but maybe there is something you could do this week to consciously change things up and feel like this is something special I am doing to make me happy?

Would love to hear anymore ideas for my upcoming week as well!

I think this is a great topic to talk about - it is reaffirming to know that we are not alone in our experiences, and it makes me feel reassured hearing how some of you have overcome your own negative experiences regarding your body image. Thank you for sharing 

I feel like I am working towards a more positive outlook towards my body, but I must admit I think my attitude towards my body and my view of my own body image is still very much affected by how closely I feel my body matches beauty standards on any given day. The days I think I look 'slim' or my tummy feels flat are the days I think of my body the most attractive, which is something I am actively working to change and that makes me a bit disappointed in myself tbh! 

I am working on overcoming this by also reminding myself to appreciate my body for all of the actions it can do, not just how it looks. When my body allows me to go for a walk, smash a work out or helps me experience how good food can taste, I remind myself how none of this is affected by whether my tummy is perfectly flat or if my body matches those of instagram fitness models.  I also try and make sure I avoid negative self talk by trying to think about my childhood self and how she would feel about all of the thoughts I have about my own body. I've still got a lot of work to do but I'm trying! 

I would love to hear how other people have overcome negative self-talk about their body and how you have learnt to embrace your body regardless of how it matches societal norms! 

Hey @marlee, 

I really enjoyed this post and I definitely agree with a lot of what you’ve said here. I  find I too constantly compare myself to others and measure myself against beauty standards. Something I have been trying to do to reduce these negative feelings is limit my social media intake. I have set time limits on my phone for all of my social media apps, so once I have been on them for a certain amount of time within the day the apps lock. I think it has really helped in making me more accountable and intentional about how I use social media, rather than allowing myself to mindlessly scrolling. 

I also like what you said about appreciating your body for what it does, I like to remind myself how great fun I should be for my body allowing me to do the things I love and that help me feel good like walking, running and going to the gym. I too try to focus on how much stronger I am getting or how much fitter I am getting because of what my body allows me to do. I use this kind of self talk to try and shut down the negative comments about having a flat stomach as well. Sometimes it can be a bit of a back and forth argument going on in my own head, but I think it’s still every little bit that helps to interrupt that string of negative self talk. 

It is so good of you to share this post, I think what you’ve said is really relatable and will be very helpful for others as well 

Hi @Lottie! I love the idea of limiting social media use - sometimes it can be so easy to scroll and scroll and not realise how many posts have a unhealthy messages disguised as health and fitness. 

Is there a particular app you use to set time limits on your phone? I think I might give it a go! 

That is great to be able to acknowledge negative self-talk as it arises and combat it with all of the great things our bodies can do! I think bringing awareness to negative thought patterns is a really important first step to swapping them out for more positive, kinder thoughts about ourselves and our bodies. I definitely agree that every little bit helps , and it's great to acknowledge and be proud of our progress

Hi @marlee,

I don't know what kind of phone you have, but for iPhones you can set time limits in the settings. I personally have a time limit from 9pm to 7am (so I wake up and go to the gym before checking my phone and don't use it too close to bedtime) and then as well as that I have specific hourly limits on certain apps, such as instagram. So I can only use if for so long during the day and then it locks me out.