Letting the negative self talk go
Yesterday I wrote a post saying how I struggle with saying a lot of negative things to myself and I got a lot of helpful suggestions.
Sometimes challenging my inner bully can be almost impossible, especially in the moment when i'm angry or upset at myself. But there is alternative, recognising that the inner bully is there and giving myself space to recognise it, accept and let it pass.
Have a look at this link where @Kaz-RO explains a bit more of the process.
@Ben-RO suggested that I make a thread so that a few us can work on this together, I know that I find doing things with other people a lot easier.
Hopefully some of you want to work on this too and we'll use this thread to talk about how we're all going with it and post some updates!
Cool insight @j95
Here's my answers:
Okay how do we feel this time?
I feel pretty good, bit more centered and less tired which is interesting because i didnt really realise i felt tired until i felt more refreshed afterwards.
Does just focusing on breathing get rid of thoughts? Or does it make them less of a big deal? Or something else?
I think the answer is something else. A lot of the time I think we get kind of caught up in thoughts and see thinking about whatever comes into our mind as the only option. By learning to notice those thoughts and then come back to focusing on breathing, it's a way of showing your brain that there's an alternative to just racing off to think of all the things.
Also my answer to that question is:
Pretty chilled out, I've been listening to classical music all day and had an amazing lunch with a friend i haven't seen in ages. So feeling pretty positive 🙂
Okay cool, so we should have a go at "exploring the breath" then? Or send me a screenshot of what you're doing 🙂
Ahhhhh that was good!
How did everyone else find it?
How did you feel before?
How do you feel after?
What did you find yourself being distracted by? 😛
How did everyone else find it?
I found it great, the guys voice is so calming and friendly. It was simple, easy to follow but effective.
How did you feel before?
Before, I had just gotten home from work so I was busy thinking about work stuff, physically and mentally exhausted. I need a chill out space.
How do you feel after?
I feel like I can tackle whatever comes tonight, I'm not carrying that worry about work, my appointment tomorrow etc I can deal with those things when they happens, not now.
What did you find yourself being distracted by?
I was sitting on my bed so my brain was wandering around everywhere, how messy my room is, when my housemates will be home, how I'm sort of hungry and there's chocolate on my bedside table, but closing my eyes really helped to just escape that.
Nice one @j95! I think it's really interesting how we all respond quite differently to exactly the same session. Although i think it's safe to say we're all a bit more chill now?
Haha yes @j95, i have been known to fall asleep straight after a meditation, or during.... which i think is okay actually.
Whoa, it seems super effective for you then! It doesn't work quite as well for me all the time. Sometimes i will do a session and not feel great after (but still usually at least a little better),
Okay i must depart because i am SO hungry and i still have to ride home. I shall check in on this thread first thing tomorrow! Although anyone else who's on is welcome to keep talking, too obvs. Cough cough @OceanMaster1207.
Wow this sounds like a really cool exercise. I usually try meditate as I'm going to sleep, and shut out a lot of my thinking and just focus on stillness- sooo hard to do haha.
@OceanMaster1207 the hardest part for me is i think my brain is very much wired for "doing" things like i have to fix stuff or build a new thing or create something to solve a problem. Mindfulness is kind of about not doing things to achieve something. It does my head in a little bit 😛
@Ben-RO omg that is exactly the same for me. Having studied psychology and cognition it's really quite interesting! Our brain is made up of a network of connections and even if we try and pull back our focus to some background noise or even silence a whole lot of background connections are lighting up that are related to our thoughts on that background noise, silence or even the process of meditating- at least I believe that's what happens to me. And if you pay more attention to those background connections all of a sudden you find your mind wandering 
Anyone got any tips on how to keep your mind still?
It was alright. I always immediately forget how to breathe normally the moment someone mentions breathing, so that in itself makes me focus on breathing a bit.
Feelings before: angry/sad
Feelings after: just the sad part
Distracted by: ticking watch, what I'm going to make for dinner, having to clean for a rental inspection
Haha that happened for a long time for me too @Bay52VU!
How do you respond to the distractions? Are you like "NOOOO STOOPP"?
I guess with the distractions it's more like "ok you can think about that later, for now you're doing this."
I tried one last night when I was already super tired and was drifting off to sleep every time he paused between words. So at least I was awake for this one 😛
Yeah that sounds like a good technique @Bay52VU! As you get a bit better and do more of these they'll talk about learning to just watch or acknowledge the thoughts as they come, and then let em go just as easily. This is something i am not heaps good at even after doing it for quite a while now 😛
P.s Here are my answers
How did everyone else find it?
Well i found it pretty relaxing altough i felt weird doing it in our office full of people!
How did you feel before?
Pretty wound up i guess. Busy day with lots to do, and had to support a person who wasn't feeling great, which i am tottallly fine with doing, but it does take emotional energy.
How do you feel after?
Way more relaxed and "together"
What did you find yourself being distracted by?
Funnily enough i kept getting distracted by work, I had my headphones in and got an email notification halfway through! And then it took me a bit to realise i'd wandered off into thinking about what the email would be! Oops 😛
