Our Guide To: Anger
Can we talk about feelings for a minute?
One huge emotion that every single human will experience is anger.
The weird thing is that we don't talk about it a lot of the time. Chuck your thoughts in this thread, but I think it has something to with anger being associated with violence when that isn't always the case. Anger can come up for many reasons. It could be a fight you had with a friend, simply watching the news or maybe you're on the receiving end of someone directing anger towards you often.
The truth is anger is different for everyone. It can look and feel like:
- Pent up energy in the body
- Feelings of despair, disconnect and intense frustration
- Heart beating fast
- Thoughts racing
- Sweating
- Getting hot
- Crying
Anger is not a negative emotion by nature. For too long, some of the behaviours associated with anger have given it a bad wrap, making it hard to know what to do with it. I can think of many examples of anger essential to personal, social, and physical growth. Think about where we would be if people never got sick of social inequality and tried to create change?
So, dare I say it: Anger is a positive, necessary emotion to have.
The trick is finding healthy ways to cope with anger that works for you. There are many ways to approach anger, and I'd love to see what you all think. What works for you?
If you need some ideas, we have an article on 8 ways to deal with anger 👈🏽
Comments
I take a very unconventional approach to dealing with my anger but it works for me! I go for the journalling approach and do my best to write down my feelings before I say/do something that I regret. If writing it down is not convenient at the time, then I will turn to some deep breathing exercises to calm me down or get my blood pumping with some exercise and heavy bass music!
Thank you for sharing some of the ways you manage your anger @niawithluv, it's so good to hear that you've found things that work for you! I find that journaling can be such a great way to write down and reflect on your feelings too. You mentioned you also like listening to some heavy bass music, do you have any favourite or go-to bands or artists?
That's a good question! I don't think I have a particular favourite at the moment because they're all so good but I guess a band I turn to often when I'm in this mood is Bastille
This is such a good post!
Dealing with anger in healthy ways can be so benefical and so much better than bottling it up like some of us do at times. There are so many ways to deal and express anger and I must agree with @fishyie when it comes to working through anger with exercise and music - nothing beats blasting some good tunes while working up a sweat, and the dopamine and serotonin released from a workout can be instrumental for improving your mood.
I have loved reading everyones strategies for dealing with anger 😁
You're so right @cloudgreen many of us bottle up anger (and other emotions) without even realising it.
@fishyie is so right because not only does exercise and music help our brains release dopamine, serotonin and endorphins (as you said) but setting aside dedicated time to cope with anger and self-care allows us to stop and actually recognise that anger - which can be hard to do and lead to that automatic bottling up of emotions.
What's your favourite work out/angry music @cloudgreen ?
Hey @Bre-RO I must confess that I love listening to some rap when I am working out, angry or not it gets me keen for a good workout!
i totally agree @cloudgreen ! rap usually has a fast tempo and great instrumentals that really get you ready to work hard.
i find it really important that i cope with my anger in a healthy way because i find if i don't then i'll end up unthinkingly releasing it through snapping at my friends and family, who don't deserve that. the best way i've found personally to help cope with my anger is through exercise and music with heavy beats and guitar! the combination of the anger and the music drives me to lift heavier and workout harder so once i finish exercising i feel much calmer both physically and mentally. some of my favourite songs are:
False Alarm - the Weeknd
American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy
Eternally Yours - Motionless in White
Numb - Linkin Park
i'd love to hear what types of music and songs people use to cope with their anger!
Yknow @fishyie there's growing research into how music helps with anger. I read one of them, and it said heavy metal really helps people feel a release of tension/energy when listening. Super interesting!
Numb - Linkin Park is one of my go-to songs as well!!
Exercise is another great way to deal with anger, and you get all that nice release of feel-good chemicals after working out, which helps too.
This is such a great topic!
I tend to ruminate on things and when someone makes me mad, I don't forget about it easily. Today, I coincidentally saw someone who inconvenienced me in the past (such a small world), and they didn't remember me but I definitely remembered them. 
When I'm angry about someone or something, I often write it down. It helps me reflect about why I am angry and let out my emotions. My grandma has a stress ball that she uses all the time when other family members are annoying her.
I really agree with what you said @Bre-RO ! Anger is a fundamentally human experience and we all experience it in different ways.
I think sitting with things like anger and trying to figure out why we're feeling this way is super valuable because it lets you figure out what else your brain is ticking over. For example, sometimes you get angry really easily because you're stressed or tired, and so dealing with those things can help address the anger you're feeling 🙂
What are everyone else's thoughts?
100% agree @ecla34 I think it can be a fairly confronting emotion to have, especially when you're not sure how to express it in a healthy way.Figuring out the why really helps to move through it! It's also a lesson in self compassion because you can take a step back and cut yourself some slack for why certain emotions are coming up rather than feeling ashamed/upset with yourself.
