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What I do to calm down

 

It’s normal to go through a whole wavelength of emotions. Often these are positive, but sometimes you may experience moments of extreme stress, sadness, anger, anxiety or something else you can’t figure out. This can become a problem when you’re not able to ride the wave out and return to still waters. 


It’s important to find effective ways to calm down when times are tough. So how can we manage strong emotions when they feel overwhelming? We want to hear about your experiences of managing emotions when it all gets a bit too much.

 

If you're keen for more information about emotional regulation, have a look out for my comment below 😊

Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 03-10-2023 12:23 PM

Comments

 
Blueberry_Kudu
Blueberry_KuduPosted 09-10-2023 05:14 PM

Awesome post! The things that help me regulate my emotions in times of high stress or anxiety are listening to music, being out in nature and talking it out with someone. I feel that a combination of these things helps me manage my emotions a lot better. It's best to just be in the moment and feel those emotions rather than suppressing them.

 
 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 10-10-2023 10:14 AM

@Blueberry_Kudu I'm glad you enjoy the post 😊 I see that getting a change in senses or scenery, and talking with other people can really help you. I can imagine how it helps to mix these things together for different situations too. It shows how you can adapt to any situation that you're in and stay present!

 
Rara
RaraPosted 05-10-2023 09:28 AM

Hi @Stormy-RO

I think this an amazing idea, it can be hard to know when you need to calm down and what might work for you especially in really distressful times. 

 

These things help me regulate my emotions: 

- Listening to music I have a playlist that has all songs that keep me calm and help me manage my emotions when I am overwhelemd

- A certain point out of everyday I will remind myself that everything okay and I am doing everything right I also do this with journaling 

- a weighted blanket, helps espcially when I am feeling it all over my body, it helps me physcially so then I can focus on calming myself mentally. 

- I will also focus on my hobbies, baking, readinng etc doing soemthing I enjoy keeps me calm

 
 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 10-10-2023 10:11 AM

@Rara I love all of your suggestions! I can see that for you, distracting yourself from the feelings to let them pass is something that works well. It's nice to focus on your hobbies and include some self-care into your emotional regulation 😄

 
sunset_hues
sunset_huesPosted 04-10-2023 09:35 PM

Hi @Stormy-RO

I love this post! I think emotional dysregulation can be one of the most intense/hardest parts of managing mental health, so definitely a very helpful post! 

 

For me a few things help: 

  • A daily meditation practice. This is more a "preventative". I started this when I was in a better headspace as sometimes it's difficult to jump into meditating during intense emotions when you don't have much practice. Doing some guided meditation everyday (even 5mins) for a few months helped me navigate the intense emotional periods when they come. I learned to let negative emotions and thoughts just pass without overidentifying with them which was a GOD SEND ☁️
  • Doing the opposite of my physical stress response: I became aware that when I'm anxious I bring my shoulders up, tense muscles in my hands and arms and clench my stomach. Consciously focusing on doing the opposite of these things helped - so I push my shoulders back, imagine my muscles relaxing and being supported by whatever I am resting on and do some deep belly breaths. 
  • Coping statements. I have some short statements that I keep repeating to myself which I find soothing. "This will pass", "everyone starts somewhere", "this is scary but not dangerous." "I'm okay and safe" 
  • Wrapping myself up in a weighted blanket with some hot tea - I find this physically soothing. 
 
 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 10-10-2023 10:09 AM

@sunset_hues thank you for all of your ideas! I really enjoyed your suggestion about practising emotional regulation through meditation to help you through those difficult moments. I can also see how self-aware you are about your physical stress response and finding ways to cope in those difficult moments. It's great to see you building up such a strong routine to manage your mental health 😊

 
Lapis_Anteater
Lapis_AnteaterPosted 03-10-2023 03:21 PM

Such a great post! I tend to listen to music if I’m struggling to manage how I’m feeling. I’ve managed to associate a song with feeling calmer, so I put it on whenever I’m too anxious. Sometimes I try to just acknowledge what I’m feeling and let it overwhelm me. Eventually it will pass but it can get quite uncomfortable. I also find it helpful to focus all my attention on one thing. Something like drawing a continuous line that doesn’t overlap/intersect. Playing with fidget/sensory toys can be useful. I also like holding ice cubes or placing them on the back of my neck. It can help regulate the nervous system.

 
 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 03-10-2023 03:55 PM

I'm glad you enjoyed it @Lapis_Anteater ! I like the fact that you've mentioned engaging with lots of different strategies to do with the senses. It helps to have a range of methods to tackle those challenging moments 🙂

 
loona
loonaPosted 03-10-2023 01:02 PM

This is such a helpful post! I think that riding the wave of nervousness or stress, especially if the feeling is short term, can be effective. Sometimes when I pressure myself to manage an emotion too much, it counterintuitively makes me focus on the feeling in an unproductive way. Pausing for some moments and letting a state of stress, anger, or whatever it may be, wash over myself, helps me to acknowledge how I feel and gives the emotion/mindset a sense of finality once I think I'm beginning to regulate it. 

 
 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 03-10-2023 03:42 PM

@loona I'm glad you like it! It can definitely help to not fight the feeling as it makes us focus on the negatives, as you said. It sounds like you have a great coping strategy there too 🙂

 
Stormy-RO
Stormy-ROPosted 03-10-2023 12:26 PM

Emotion regulation

Emotion regulation refers to a person’s ability to effectively manage and respond to emotional experiences. We use emotion regulation throughout our day for small and big things, and it helps us to diffuse strong emotions. Learning how to regulate our thoughts, feelings and behaviours and how they work together is part of many therapies, including cognitive behavioural therapy. There’s no one way to do this, but it can often allow us to understand what led to the emotions in the first place!

 

Emotional regulation does not involve suppressing or avoiding your emotions. When we are in a moment of high emotional overload, it’s important to not push the feelings down, but to give space for them. 

 

What I can do to calm down

In the same way that we can cycle into negative thoughts and feelings in an overwhelming moment, we can also do positive things to bring ourselves back. Can you pause to collect your thoughts before you respond to them, to understand what you’re feeling? Try to identify where in your body you feel overwhelmed. Is your stomach upset? Is your heart racing? Are your muscles tense?

 

Once you become aware of how you’re feeling, you can start taking steps to calm down. These might include:

  • Breathwork 
  • Meditation
  • Phoning a friend
  • Curling up with a pet
  • Exercising or stretching

It’s important to note that these strategies may change depending on the situation you’re in. The goal is to reduce the intensity of our emotions and help us be present, so whatever works for you is the best option.

 

When you can’t calm down

Sometimes you may be so overwhelmed that you can’t breathe or meditate it away- and that’s okay! Trauma triggers can be especially confronting and it’s important to ground yourself.

 

Try this little trick:

  1. Find 5 things you can see. What stands out to you about them?
  2. Find 4 things you can hear. Don’t worry about exactly what kind of bird or car that is outside, just focus on what’s around you.
  3. Find 3 things you can touch. How do your clothes feel as they brush against your body?
  4. Find 2 things that you can smell. How do the smells work with each other?
  5. Find 1 thing you can taste. Feel free to grab some chocolate!

 

What else can I do?

There are lots of apps and videos out there that can help you manage moments where you need to calm down. One is Smiling Mind, which is an Australian mindfulness and meditation app which covers a range of situations from taking a walk to sleeping well and includes meditations specific to young people. ReachOut also has a Spotify account which includes some playlists to help you feel good!

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