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Building self trust
I was having a read today and came across a passage that really moved me.
I am someone who struggles to make my own decisions. I've always turned to others to get thier own advice thinking it'll help me in making my decisions.
Until today when I read, that turning to others for advice to take a decision only reinforces in your subconscious that you are not capable only adding to the self mistrust.
It's when you stop going to others that you're able to meet yourself and learn to trust yourself and own judgement.
The more you turn to others the more reliant you become on others to make decisions. When you have no one to turn to anxiety and stress becomes prevalent.
So I thought to share this with you especially if someone struggles with the same issue.
Comments
Hey @Midnight_skylight , this is super interesting to reflect upon! On one hand seeking guidance from others can be helpful and informative but on the other hand, what happens if/ when they are not there? I think it comes down to knowing yourself and knowing why you are seeking assistance. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Wow, I can resonate with this post, I have always turned to others to help me make a decision because I'm so indecisive and I always thought that I would make the wrong choice. It feels good to know that I'm not the only one that goes through this. I hope to grow out of this habit one day and to trust myself and have confidence in myself!
it really does help hearing and seeing that you're not alone in the struggle. in a way it instills hope and opens up many doors to bettering ourselves everyday. at the same time be very careful with comparing yourself to others. the only person you should compare yourself too is who you were yesterday. i hope you accomplish every goal you set for yourself 💚
Hi @Midnight_skylight , thanks for sharing this insightful passage. Learning to trust yourself is such an important thing. It is true that relying on others can undermine your confidence and ability to make your own decisions. It is important to take the necessary steps to become independent in a way where your not cutting people off, but one that allows you to rebuild that self-trust and have more faith in ourselves.
1000%% love and agree with what you've said!! it is so important. we underestimate the importance of it.
its when you're in a difficult situation and have no one to turn to you turn to that voice inside. when you've practiced daily to trust yourself you will find it to be so loud and confident.
@Midnight_skylight thankyou so much for sharing this, this is something that I really needed to hear today 💜. I'm definitely guilty of turning to friends and family for help making a decision, or even validation that I've made the right decision! I think that it is so wonderful to have people in your life who you trust, who care for you, and who are willing to help you make important decision. At the same time! - like you said, self-trust is so important. I really think that this is not talked about nearly enough (and I think this surprising given how individualist our culture generally seems to be at the moment). I'm going to make a conscious effort over the next week to be mindful in my decision making, and to trust my gut before turning to others for support!!!
This is so validating, I feel so seen. I only just realised I was doing this the other day through a TikTok post, and have been making efforts to turn towards other people less. I really want to trust my own judgement, it's just difficult when I'm so used to listening to other people. I want to listen to my own advice!
Hey! @Midnight_skylight
That is definitely something that I have felt as well. One thing that has helped me build sel-trust is by keeping promises to myself. These can be very little things - like following through on a committment to make your bed every morning. Building trust can't always start with the big things - it needs a foundation. I found that this has helped me to feel confident that I am there to support myself if that makes sense? Just a little random thing but hopefully it is helpful too!!
Thank you for sharing this! I'm also very indecisive and tend to ask for advice from others. But what you shared makes so much sense - relying too much on other people can affect our confidence. It's so important to build self trust and remind ourselves that we have the ability to navigate our own lives without depending on others.
Hello@Midnight_skylight,
That's such an interesting read that you have come across and I find your thoughts on the matter very insightful as well.
Something I would like to add though would be I feel like when I turn to others to make a choice, subconsciously I also feel like I do so because I'm trying to please that person in some way ( don't know if you have come across that as well@Midnight_skylight)
While it's all good if it's just things like what to eat, where to go for the holidays etc..., but when it comes to more serious concerns such as the subject you would like to study in the future, the job you want to take etc, it is definitely worth building some self trust and believing in your on judgement.
Once again, a very insightful post and hope to see others thoughts on it as well 🤩
i havent read anything specific like that but I did resonate with it often when I'm out with people I really like and want to impress I'll turn to them for their opinion and end up going with what they say. In a way it's showing that person you fully trust them even to take this step which may not even affect them in anyway ((its showing the lengths you would go to for them) (but done to the wrong people can be dangerous cause they might take advantage of it. but that's a topic for another day))
Hey!
This a great find and definitely true! I've always had a hard time making decisions and I still do but I know I need to push myself to make a decision and decide for myself. I do still have times I fall back on someone else to help me decide but it's become for smaller things when there's to many options and I get overwhelmed!
Thankyou for sharing this I'm sure many people will find this useful to know and understand!
Indeed the overwhelm of too many options makes all the more harder.
I think telling the closet people whom we always turn to for advice to push us to make it on our own decisions than actually give us advice would be so helpful. And having a code word when it really is a struggle.