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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@lemurien cheers for starting this thread, I really relate to what everyone has said thus far! In regards to the last part of your post, please know that feelings of unadulterated despair are valid, normal, and that you aren't alone. How are you travelling now- have you tried something that has worked for you since?

 

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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@Sophia-RO yes it is really nice to be able to see him now and then, I've probably only been able to see him 5 times since March but it always makes me feel better. nothing exciting planned unfortunately but I enjoyed doing some knitting. 

 

@Tay100 thank you, I think that a lot of people are trying not to talk about the mental health impact? whether it's to cope, or because they don't want to draw attention away from the danger of the actual virus itself. I know I avoid mentioning how I'm feeling to my friends because we just end up having a big convo about how miserable we are, and it doesn't help anything. But at the same time it really hurts to ignore those despair feelings. The counsellor I spoke to at headspace mentioned that there's also a feeling of grief we have to cope with, of everything we lost this year, like our feelings of safety, our social hobbies, physical affection, the events and plans we had, etc... And it just feels insane trying to grapple with all that and still be expected to work/study remotely.

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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

Hey @lemurien, it really sucks that you haven't been able to see your partner much Smiley Sad I understand why you have been cautious - I have been feeling similarly about visiting my family, friends and partner. I have definitely realised how important it is just to hang out with people in person. It can easily lift your mood even if you aren't doing anything exciting. Knitting is awesome! Are you knitting anything in particular?

Totally agree with feeling grief about everything we are missing out on. I can't believe how far we are into the year! It feels like it has gone fast when you look back on it.. maybe because some of the days blend together even if they are slower paced than usual?
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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@Taylor-RO I have realised the same thing. on some days I just want to hide from all my housemates because I am not in the mood to see anyone. But eventually when I have to emerge and one of them chats with me, I end up feeling so much better. I feel lucky that I live with people and get some forced social interaction every day Smiley Tongue It's been sad not being able to see my partner though, since we are such good supports for each other.

The first thing I knitted was a little baby hat with bear ears - so cute!!! Now I'm trying to make a beanie. I've restarted like 5 times lol but so far so good on lucky number 6! And I can't believe we're almost in August either. Honestly I'm just hoping for the rest of the year to run by just as quickly and then hopefully we can leave this all behind.
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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@lemurien yes! I find that people are really good at acknowledging that things are weird right now, but then expect us to go on as normal anyways...like what?  like acknowledging what's happening is a great start but that doesn't change the fact you are putting pressure on (us) to continue working/studying/life etc as normal! That's not helping! I guess that's where spaces like this come in handy, and threads like this in particular! 

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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

Hey @lemurien ahhh relate to what you said so much. I feel super intimidated by socialising at the moment but when I do, I realise how much I need it to feel good! That would be really hard not having your partner around. Are you two connecting in other ways? 

 

Also, the baby hat with bear ears sounds unbelievably cute Cat Tongue

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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@Tay100 omg yes! I saw an advertisement for a tutoring service directed at kids in their last years of high school, basically saying that if they work harder than ever during lockdown, it will set them apart from everyone else and give them an advantage. Saying that this time spent at home with no distractions (like social events or part time jobs) from studying is a good thing. I also saw someone say "everything happens for a reason, lockdown was the perfect time for me to start setting up my business" ... ?! there's like this mentality that real winners will use lockdown as an opportunity and keep pushing. I'm just here like *eyeroll* back to watching Netflix in bed Smiley Very Happy Anyway, yes, I'm really glad that there are spaces like this where we can talk about the impacts freely and try to get away from the pressure.

@Bre-RO Well lately he is trying to teach me how to play chess lol (using an app). I'm pretty bored by it so far, but hey it's something we can do together! other than that we just spend a lot of time video chatting Smiley Happy
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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@lemurien  This is such a great thread! I've learned a lot from everyone's responses.
I'm sorry that the person you spoke to wasn't very validating of your experiences. Smiley Sad It's okay not to be okay, especially in a time like this. I'm sure the people who lived through other pandemics went through a difficult time too, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't feel sad or angry about the state of the world right now. I agree with you that it's a really hard time to be a young person in 2020. I'm glad that the other person you spoke to was more helpful. Heart

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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@lemurien yeah i feel the same, like if works for you, that's fab, but I can't really relate to that haha! I also find the way that things have changed when we do go out, from masks, social distancing etc quite confronting...what about you?

 

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Re: 2020 - Why do we have to pretend things are normal??

@WheresMySquishy I'm happy it was a helpful thread for you! Definitely, I think that person was trying to make me feel better that this is something that has happened before and people made it to the other side, but it just came across as dismissive.

@Tay100 yes I'm sure it works for some people but I can't relate either! I just want people to be able to relax and be gentle with themselves, not force ourselves to work even harder..

I feel the exact same way that it's confronting to go out! I think that's an important thing to talk about. my well-meaning mum keeps saying "Well you're still allowed to go some places, so you should get out more!" but I find it upsetting when I do go out. the social distancing, masks, constant hand sanitiser, suspicious/fearful vibes... of course, the protocols are meant to keep us safe, but it's definitely worth acknowledging how scary it all can feel.

I also hate the phrase "the new normal" - I really don't want to consider any of this normal. It feels so unnatural to see people at the shops avoiding each other like the plague. just goes back to the title of the thread - this isn't normal!