A Girl i like

[Gropa]

What should I do if my crush wants me to hang out? She’s moving back, even though she just wants to be friends but I still like her.

[gina-RO]

Hey @Gropa,  thanks for sharing with us  

Do you want to tell us a bit more about the situation? 

How do you think hanging out with this person will make you feel? It can be difficult to hang out with someone you have a crush on if you want more out of the relationship.

Here to listen, let us know how you are 

[Gropa]

honestly we both met at university one day. i asked if she like to get coffee the next morning so we did, everything went well so we started catching up again a lot more. went to each other houses a lot. we have a lot in common video games, music, art, travel. She told me after university she wanted to travel to china to teach students English i said i be more then happy to do long distance no matter what i will not leave you. she found work up back home a three hour drive from where i live so i started traveling 3hrs to visit her didn't bother me. i asked her out and she said she isn't ready for anything like that we hugged a lot and we where watching a movie one day holding hands. i totally respected her choices and wanted to take it really slow. in the end she just wanted to be friends so i stopped asking talking then she messaged me on my birthday saying she got a full time job and would like to see me again as of the start of next year but i really like her and finds she the only one i want to be with. if someone could tell me what i should send to her in a message explaining my situation that would be fantastic

[Jay-RO]

Hi there @Gropa and welcome to ReachOut

It sounds like you have a strong friendship with this girl, it's great that you were both able to stay friends even when she said she wasn't ready. It shows that you are a respectful and kind person, and those are wonderful qualities to have.
It can be really tricky to know what to say to people, to put our thoughts and emotions into words. Is there anyone around you that you can chat to about this?

In your first post, you mentioned her asking you to hang out, is that something you feel like you could do if you choose to stay friends?

I've tagged some of our other users so they can share any advice they might have @Bee @mrmusic @annabethxchase @linkinpark13 @scared01 @Libellule

[linkinpark13]

heya @Gropa 

I have actually been in a similar situation but from the reversed perspective, this person and me have been best friends since and are still to this day 

Staying friends with and hanging out with someone that you have had/still do have feelings for is a tricky thing and not simple or easy by any means, but it can be done! I think a good place to start is by thinking about what @Jay-RO mentioned, do you feel like you could hang out if you do choose to stay friends?

In my experience feelings like that don't so much fade or disappear, rather they develop, change and grow! It sounds like you care for her a lot and that you have a super special, strong friendship. Being able to stay friends with someone that you have feelings for just goes to show how much of a respectful, understanding and mature person you are  not many people can do this and I think its a very admirable trait to have.

In terms of sending her a message to explain your situation, my only advice would be to stay true to how you feel by being honest and open with her and with yourself. 

To explain my experience of this a little, this person was someone who I kinda dated for a little, I then told him I wasn't ready for this and that I would like us to stay friends, he was extremely honest with me and explained that he had developed feelings for me during this time and that it would take time for these feelings to grow/change into a friendship, he was respectful, understanding and agreed that he wanted to stay friends. It took some time but not as much as I thought for us to find our 'groove' I guess you could call it. He has been one of my best friends ever since and someone I have a lot of trust and respect for.

Let us know how you're doing, always here to talk!

[Gropa]

hey, thank you so much for replying back i will take all this on board. now bit of an update she recently got back in contact with me and wanted me to run a favour of picking up new house keys for her since she was living away somewhere else so i did that for her. i did get some bizarre messages saying "do you have magical skills of making oreos appearing infront of me"so i went and got her some. and she said well i guess your magical after all. lastly i got this message when i asked her out. can you please help me understand it.

that's okay
i meant as friends for now.
i can't promise that will change
though into anything else though.

would love to hear from you again!