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Abusive parents and family members

Hi Reachout, 


I think have abusive parents. I'm not sure if I'm making an excuse or this is a legit reason and emotionally uncaring.


In Asian cultures you don't express vulnerability.


I do recall negative prediction, verbal putt down , negative comparison (living cost which would lead me to isolation and just depravation of human contact) and a lot of guilt tripping imposed on me personally. 


In my culture your expected to grin and bear it to quote on dad but I don't know if that just lazy thinking or that he doesnt to be involved in your wellbeing.


Which is the opposite of what dad and mum does usually bothering me for 45 minutes about mundane details and political concern of malaysia during the semester  which really is projecting a bigger concern to me.  This happens frequently while I was in Melbourne.


Been feeling sad and hurt for a while now and have not been attending classes. I just wake up feeling down.


I just feel really low and not confident to meet new people.


Other than speaking to a therapist , who can I speak to ?


Also i'd thought  to keep record of their treatment via microsoft word ?


Should i keep a date and description in hand and keep it to one page for record purposes.


Re: Abusive parents and family members

Hey @BunnyWalks,
Is Everything OK? Dealing with abuse is definitely tough and you definitely aren't alone, I'm sure plenty of community members can relate. We are here when/if you are ready to talk.

Re: Abusive parents and family members

Hey @annabethxchase

Just editted the post to give a clear picture of how their behaviour has affected me.

My mum and dad have poor conflict resolution skills with each other . And I think resentment passes on with each other and their insecurity as a couple bleeds out from time to time.

Re: Abusive parents and family members

Oh, OK @BunnyWalks!
From my perspective this definitely sounds like some form of emotional abuse, put-downs & guilt tripping are designed to make the receiver feel terrible and unwanted. I can only imagine the stress and strain that would put on you Smiley Sad

I've heard that quote a couple of times and I feel as though men especially are stereotyped to not have anything bother them and be kind of invincible to emotions. You should be allowed to feel the things you feel and express emotion without fear of being judged or ridiculed.

The constant bother of them calling you about political matters sounds really irritating and anyone in that situation would, I think, find it very hard to not become frustrated. It's completely understandable that you feel there attitude is projecting onto you in a negative way.

It's really great you are seeing a therapist! I would suggest as someone else a local support group, helplines (You can check out Malaysian lines) and Reach Out, what do you think about all that?
I think keeping track of your treatment is a great idea, documenting how you feel after an appointment, what helped etc.

Re: Abusive parents and family members

Hey @BunnyWalks 

Sounds like a complex situation, and a therapist is certainly a good option for you to work these things through with. 

You can also call 1800 RESPECT, , (1800 737 732)  or the KHL  (1800 55 1800), to speak about the specifics of what you've experienced, and what the support options are. 


In terms of how you're feeling now, that sounds rough. Feeling down when you wake up, and not confident to meet new people , is a really hard thing to be dealing with. 

None of us can really ever know all of the causes of why we feel the ways we do, but we can look at ways to move forward, and ways to help ourselves to heal. 




I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Abusive parents and family members


Thank you so much for reading my post. I appreciate your attention.

Just few things to clarify :

*Keep track of how my parents treat me especially the bad treatments.

*Which help line would the most appropriate in in Malaysia should I feel put down by mum and dad if there being unreasonably harsh ?

Re: Abusive parents and family members

Are there services for Malaysia @gina-RO ?

I feel visible when you speak to me that way .

Re: Abusive parents and family members

Hey @BunnyWalks,

Here's the link for all of the services outside australia!