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Am I still in love with my ex??

I split up with my ex in February. We sort of drifted apart and were both moving in the opposite life directions to each other. We moved in together after only 3 months and lived in a flat for about 9 months together.
Looking back I was a real arsehole. All she wanted was for us to spend time together and all I wanted to do with my weekends was knock around my mates. I saw us living together as enough time spent as a couple.
I moved home during the break up and she went on to do her uni placement. I was a absolute mess as a result. The 5 or so weekends after the break up i didn't spend a day sober. I occasionally took recreational drug with my mates when we were together (not to her knowledge) but I found myself taking something every weekend, all weekend which is wayyyyy out of character to me. That's stopped now as I realised that doing that was not a good was to cope.

It's now July and I cannot help but think she is the one for me and that I need to get her back?
I got back from 5 weeks overseas last night and a lot of the places I went to I thought of how she would love to be here.
I hooked up with a girl while abroad, and while having sex I felt like I was cheating. The whole situation wasn't enjoyable.

I'm really at a crossroads. I don't know if 6 months is enough time for the wounds to heal or is this true love?
It's only the last couple of month that I have been really longing for her.
We spent a bit of time together after the break up and were still talking but that has all but completely stopped. She sent me a message for my birthday but I deleted it straight away as even the site of her name makes me upset. I even hide her on Facebook so I don't see her name anywhere. Things like songs and brand names that I associate with her are even upsetting to me.

I've spoken to my mum and she thinks I need more time and then my mate reckons go for it, get her back and work hard at the long distance relationship.

I don't know what to do.

Help?!

Thanks in advanced

Regards
TC

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

Hey @TommyC. Break-ups are hard, even when you're the one who initiated it, and the amount of time it takes to get over one totally depends on the situation. From what you've described, the relationship didn't end because you fell out of love but because you were not on the same page about what you wanted. Those breakups are particularly tough because it's not like the feelings have suddenly disappeared. You were together for a long time, it's ok to still care about your ex. If you did get back together, it would obviously be different now since it's long-distance but when she comes back, do you think the same issues would still be there?

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

hey @TommyC how are you going?

 

It sure sounds like you miss her and being with her!

 

Maybe you could spark a conversation up with her? If you chat and feel nothing then theres no loss, if you guys talk and get along really well and you both seem to still feel something then maybe you could give it another go

Least then you have tried and wont be living with what ifs ?

 

Im sure if you explained how you feel that when you look back you didnt put as much into the relationship as you realise you should have (spending time with her etc) that she would understand or at least see that you have done a lot of thinking about things

 

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

Dude go for it, you'll regret it if you don't, i broke up with my boyfriend last year and about a term into this year i realised that i still had feelings for him but by then it weas too late, go for it now or hold your peace forever because once you ignore your chance they are gone forever

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

hey @TommyC how you going?

Have you had a chance to check out some of the replies people have posted?

 

I agree with the advice @MissMeh has given, if you try and it doesnt work out then theres nothing more lost

but if you dont try you migh never know?

 

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

Just my two cents here: I dont love the limelight or bignoting myself, but a more private person....and i hoped to find acceptance here, along with people being able to get to know me better, and being able to be my cheerful, playful self whilst building relationship, rapport.

Highlighted

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

Hey guys. I'm doing well

We had a long, emotional, teary, snotty talk and both came to the agreement that we need to hold off for a bit.
Talking with her, it made me see through her eyes and see that it's just not right......at the moment.. A bit of a kick in the guts but I think it's for the better.
We are still friends and I'm happy that there is no awkwardness or hostilely. We even scheduled a date for a years time Smiley Happy

I really appreciate everyone's input. This website continues to amaze.

Much love
TC

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

Hey @TommyC, glad to hear you're doing well!

 

Having a break or holding off in a relationship can be tough, but as you said, it's better for both of you right now. I think it's really cool that you're able to remain friends and set up a date for a year down the track too! 

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

So glad you guys talked it out @TommyC !

 

Its hard to admit something you want isnt right atm Smiley Happy good on you for doing whats best for both of you in the long run

It would of taken guts to chat to her openly about everything so good on you aswellSmiley Very Happy

 

Even though it might suck not being together now, the fact you guys are friendly now is really cool! Having conflict or hostility or regrets sucks big time and now you guys both put it all out on the table and are friendly thinds can move forward and maybe pave the way for something in the future like you said!

 

WOoo Smiley Very Happy

Re: Am I still in love with my ex??

#taketwo

I edited my previous comment! hope this helps. ☺️