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Anxiety from seeing other couples

I'm a gay guy and I have never been in a relationship. Whenever I see a gay couple in public, I get this weird sensation in my chest which lasts for 40 secs. My vision becomes blurry and I left frozen. Sometimes I get headaches after the chest pain is over. Most of the time I see them I feel like they're rubbing their PDA on my face to tell me I can't have what they have. My anxiety is getting out of hand as I work in a restaurant and I see couples there as well and I have to push myself to not get frozen. What should I do. 

Re: Anxiety from seeing other couples

Hi @uncannyss! Welcome to the forums!
That doesn't sound like a pleasant thing to experience at all. Smiley Sad I think you're definitely not alone. I used to get anxious seeing things like PDAs too because it would bring up some bad memories for me.
How would you feel about doing something to distract yourself when you start feeling the sensation coming on? For example, you could pick up a magazine and start reading it, play a game on your phone, count backwards, focus on something you can hear or feel, etc.

Re: Anxiety from seeing other couples

Hey @uncannyss, that sounds incredibly stressful, and I can only imagine how scary that would be, especially as being part of the LGBT+ community. Would you be able to share a bit more about why you feel so anxious when you see other queer couples? Do you think it could be a fear response at all? Perhaps if you've experienced fear about coming out/being out as a gay man it may transfer over to queer people when you see them being open about their sexuality. What do you think though, does this explanation sit well with you at all?

Re: Anxiety from seeing other couples

Hey, @uncannyss this sounds like a tough experience to go through. @Andrea-RO and @WheresMySquishy have asked some great questions for reflection. I hope that you can find out what the reason behind it and find some strategies to better cope. 


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Re: Anxiety from seeing other couples

Hey @uncannyss 


Hope you're doing okay today. That experience must be so hard for you Smiley Sad


I think @WheresMySquishy gave some good options to try and distract yourself. What else do you think you could try? And do you think you could talk to anyone about your experience?