Being Trans

[Anonymous]

Greetings my fellow humans,

My name is Spencer (maybe, keep reading to find out more!), and I am an AFAB non binary teen. And guess what?! I have finally worked up the courage to post this! I live in a small country town, so consequently, I have not come out to anyone in real life. That is why I have come here. To talk. To talk about my experiences as a closeted trans teen.

Online, I have been trying out they/them pronouns, but I am am starting to think that I want to use he/they pronouns instead. It's a long, confusing process really. I do experience dysphoria, mainly with my chest, but unfortunately, I am not in a position where I can do anything about it, but the good news is that i will probably be able to buy a binder next year (yay!). I also experience dysphoria with my hips, butt, voice, walk, facial features, and weirdest of all, my ankles. Yes, I know, it is weird.

Now, to the name thing. I first really considered using the name Spencer back in April, but I don't really know if it suits me. That is where you come in. I am looking for a new name, and it would be awesome if you could all leave a name or two. Things to consider are that I have changed my middle name to Elliot (so maybe something that would sound good with that), and I am trying to keep the S initial, but if you have something else in mind that you really like, drop that down below too!!

I will probably post more things on a regular basis from now on as they happen. Guess we will see!!

[belski]

Hey @Anonymous, 

Thanks so much for sharing! ReachOut is a great space to talk about your experiences. There are so many supportive members, some of which are also non binary and likely relate to your experience. I also think its really cool that you have been exploring pronouns! I was wondering if you had any more preferences for choosing a name (i.e., a name that has an assigned meaning? or is long or short) Some names that start with S and come to mind are Sam, Sunny and Silas

[Tay100]

Hiya @Anonymous ! Welcome to the forums, we are happy to have you here! Simon, Samual, or even Toby or Xavier or Conor sound good with Elliot too! Hope this helps!

Feel free to continue to share your story here on this thread too

[Janine-RO]

Welcome @Anonymous ! 

It's really great to have you on the forums, we are really happy to have you here! This is a super welcoming community, and we have a lot of non binary/ queer/ trans/ other members of the LGBTQIA+ community here, we're stoked that you worked up the courage to post here I'm guessing that living in a small country town may feel a bit isolating sometimes, especially if you can't come out to anyone in real life, so it's awesome that you've found this space. 

If you ever feel like you want to chat to someone or want some more support, Qlife is an awesome national service that aims to keep LGBTQIA+ communities supported and connected, they offer free counselling and webchat- we also have a bunch of different services listed that you can check out here  

I just thought I'd link to a few other threads that have been started by other members of the community in case you want to check them out - the awesome @Tiny_leaf  started this thread for the trans community. 

As they said, it can be incredibly valuable to talk to people who've been there, have shared experiences and really 'get it' . 

I also really loved these threads : How do you show LGBTQIA+ pride ?, and LGBTQ Hellos

Looking for a new name must be tricky, and I hope you find the name that feels right for you! I actually really like Spencer , also like Sawyer and Shaun. I also just wanted to give you a quick heads up that we do ask people on the forums to stay anonymous (you can check out our community guidelines here), first names are fine though We look forward to seeing you around the forums! 

[Emlo]

Hello! I am so proud to hear that you are in a place where you can explore your identity. I too came from a very small country town too so I know how difficult it is to come out as anything even slightly different. Finding the pronouns and name you feel comfortable with is a slow journey and it is totally normal to swap and change and change back until you find what makes you feel happy. Personally I've been trying out they/them pronouns now I am living in a much more inclusive city (I haven't told my parent yet). 

Dysphoria is a very common experience within the trans community- a binder can help with this enormously just make sure to use it safely (there is plenty of tips and tricks online), certain clothing choices can help flatter your hips, butt and ankles giving a more masculine appearance but I am sure you will find a style which suits you

Some "S" names I personally like are: Sebastian, Shepherd, Sid, Saxon

Please keep us posted on your journey and all the very best  

[chillspace]

Welcome to the forums @Anonymous! This is such a welcoming and safe community, you'll always have someone to talk to here. I really like the name Spencer! Some others I thought might work are Seth, Sebastian, Samuel and Shane. 

[Tiny_leaf]

Hi @Anonymous 

I'm non-binary too!

I found my name by looking at a bunch of lists of unisex names until I found one that fit. 

With names, would you like a fully gender-neutral name, or one that leans towards male?

Sam (or any variation) is pretty neutral, and is short enough to go with Elliot.

Skylar is a fairly "stereotypical" trans name but it still sounds pretty good.

I'd also suggest the website "Behind the Name"  it helped me choose my (and my dog's name), but it also has a bunch of filters like language, letters, number of syllables, meanings, ect.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for replying! It really means a lot. As for the name, I'm thinking something short and sort of unusual.

[Tay100]

@Anonymous Ahh I see! In that case, suggested names like Sid or even Ash could work! 

[Anonymous]

Thank you to everyone who replied to me! Guess what?! I have come up with my new name. So hello, my name is Mars.