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Re: Body neutrality

I love this thread!

 

I didn't grow up in the most healthy culture, body image-wise. People had no problem telling others they are too fat, too skinny, too this too that. One thing that I have found helpful was to be assertive and communicate that I don't want to discuss bodies and diets, and that I'm happy with who I am. That seems to stop people in their track.

 

Probably not something a lot of people have to deal with, but I hope this helps someone who does!

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Re: Body neutrality

@November13  yess, I agree (btw, hi there, don't believe we've met, I'm another Bob here!)

Like boundaries are key here! When they are respectfully put in place, explained in a way that doesn't alienate others and held up consistently, they can work wonders!

 

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Re: Body neutrality

Nice to meet you @Tay100! I love how you added the "respectfully put in place" part, that is definitely key!

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Re: Body neutrality

Hey @peppermintpeony. I agree! I love that you can recognise that these sorts of conversations negatively affect you and that you are working to put a stop to people talking about that kind of stuff around you. This is something I'm going to working on implementing myself!

@November13 I'm so sorry to hear that you didn't grow up in an uplifting and positive environment surrounding body image. I think you would be surprised how many people have to deal with this to some extent, even if it may be less obvious and straightforward as you mentioned, it is probably almost every single person to be completely honest! I hope you know that you are not alone in this because it is a topic that we all need to work on if we want to see change. I love that you have found a way to stop people from sharing their negative talk because at the end of the day no one has the right to comment on any body elses appearance!

Something I am working on is reminding myself that we often don't know what is going on behind the scenes. Its an old and tried perspective and I used to struggle to fully come to terms with this, for example, recognising that people use filters or editing apps on their photos is separate from our brains seeing them and desiring to look a certain way etc. I used to think just telling myself a photo is likely edited was helping me step away from idolising a body that didn't look like mine/ a body that for me personally would require unhealthy behaviours to attain. However, what I've realised is I need to take active steps to change this thought process that is subconscious such as :
- following people with similar body shapes to mine on social media
-unfollowing people that don't look like me that upset me/ that make me question why I don't look like that (because the why is literally just genetics)
-telling myself its okay to look how I look even if I don't believe it for now (not necessarily telling myself I look great - hence the post on body neutrality not body positivity just yet)

I've only recently starting seeing a professional for help and I hope to learn more educated and informed methods of challenging my thoughts but for now this is helping me start the process and I hope it can help others too!
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Re: Body neutrality

Thanks @JullyBean Heart I love how you're reminding yourself that a lot of work may be done behind the scenes. Sometimes we're so busy comparing our "normal" with other people's "highlights" that we often forget we don't get to see what goes on behind every post. And seeing a professional is a great decision to get you the right help as well!

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Re: Body neutrality

Thanks for starting this thread @JullyBean ! It has been so great reading through these posts and getting some great tips about Body Neutrality. I didn't know a lot about the concept of Body Neutrality until I went to a talk at the beginning of this year with Carly Findlay and Bri Lee who are both amazing writers and activists. 

You folks have spoken about it here and something they discussed was really leaning into those cool things our bodies allow us to do that we enjoy. Yáll have mentioned dancing, jumping and running and many other things which are all such awesome examples of this! 

It's also so great to hear about assertiveness, communication and getting help as strategies for aiming towards body neutrality Heart

 

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Re: Body neutrality

@November13 yes! what does putting respectful boundaries look like for you??

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Re: Body neutrality

To me it means communicating your reasonable needs without intentionally making the other person feel attacked or hurt. And of course critique the action not the person, sometimes they mean well!

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Re: Body neutrality

@November13 very wise and detailed, I agree! I'd add that it involves sticking to your boundaries and being consistent!