Hi ReachOut ,
My parents and the environment ( media) are excellent in making statements intending to strike fear.
Example my parents placed doubts in me that as a person I'm not wanted by Australia or just people outside of a malaysian culture which is already toxic as it is.
My parents can get wreckless with their BS. Not advocating for gambling but we all can learn to BS responsibly.
E.g. my parents think all Australians hold prejudice against Asians but they're sentiments we're overstated. Many were willing to comfort me and have had respectful behavior.
My parents are isolated from Western culture.
I think theyre fear was based on the idea of bad people instead of wheather there we actually bad people you know of.
I found Australians just want to time for good vibes and times. Also piss up in bali ? Nothing Ill intentioned as far I see.
When people like mum and dad or a work peer try to put me in a state of fear how do I challenge these claims when they're not well founded or lack evidence in a respectful manner ?
I have learned to deal with hecklers but mum and dad are a little different.
It does affect me to a point to where I get too afraid to even try.
I think this would help me be assertive but Im thinking not to lash out as well.
The cost constant fear just puts me in a bad headspace and I didn't want to participate in things like sport or meet new people because what my parents thought of me, IRL.
We can start with useful phrases ?
It's great that you're wanting to work on assertiveness @BunnyWalks! As well as how to communicate without lashing out. It can take some practice, but like any skill it improves over time
There's an old forum discussion here which talks about assertiveness in a fair bit of detail. Another great resource is the Better Health Channel's factsheet.
If you're wanting to work on thought challenging we also have the awesome turning negatives into positives thread.
Let us know how you go
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