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Clash of cultures an international student story

Hi again reach out fam , 


#mods please message  me should their be anything inappropriate with this post.


I'm looking for people with a multicultural background to help me here.


But those with a western background (anglo saxon ) are allowed the provide some perspective.


In Australia , physically is a place where  I got to experience to just be Bunnywalks.


I'm not aligned to any group unless I choose to.


I'm grateful to have made relationships with those ive meet and learn my short comings as a friend.


My parents aren't too open with western culture due to being public servants in an Asian country and hold more traditional values.


Their very proud of their national heritage and my country actively nutures this irrational resentment towards western countries on purpose for political gain. 


I got yelled at for getting around the bogan accent or just an accent where Australians would be able understand my speech.


They do have resentment to Australians in particular where I suspect a proud relative may proded at them in the past and other friends which may have glamourised their lives here.


How could I find out why they may have these feelings ? How did at reach out negotiate this with your Asian parents ?


As a western nation Australia has been portrayed in the media as this materially richer country and slightly more sophisticated than an a very narrow minded Asian country like mine.


Also articles writen by other migrants dont seem to help their feelings allow them demonstrate more passive aggressive nature.


Multicultural people on this forum have you had these experiences and what did you get an outcome from these clashes ?


Edit : Hey reach out gang , I'm overwhelmed with the responses coming but I  appreciate them.


I will be late to reply.


Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Hey @BunnyWalks

Unfortunately I can't help you but I'm going to tag some fellow mods who have multi cultural backgrounds and they should hopefully be able to help Smiley Happy  @Asche @Esperanza67 @missep @RevzZ @sweet_baking

Whatever it takes I know I can make it through!

Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Hi @erinantics , 


I will wait for their responses.

I appreciate you tagging them.




Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Heya @BunnyWalks I just want to make sure I am understanding Smiley Happy Are you saying your family has a poor view of Australian culture? And that you don't share this view? 


Are you trying to understand why they have this negative view of western culture?

I just want to make sure I am getting this right Smiley Happy 

Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Hi @Bree-RO

From what heard in the past yes but recently they've hushed up now. Cause I told them I need some concentration.

They do have this negetive view of western culture and have in this polarising mindset from an observation.

Not favourable views but I can't confirm why.

Could be culture , the national culture or maybe envy. Sense of superiority ? Or their own ideas of Australia ? Personal history ?

I'm spitballing ATM but I will have to listen to their thoughts uninterrupted and we're at a dysfunctional state in the family.

I've made an appointment with my dad to get some closure out of this.

I don't share their views. I met Malaysians online and in person I've met are very 1 dimensional people or we don't share the same interest.

I don't hate them their just isn't any alignment. I'm just forcing a connection immediately.

I try to adapt to a circumstance where I could be understood and interact with people in my surrounding in an effective manner.

I would pursue this social influencer thing but just scrutiny with social media can be extremely intense in part of the world of I'm at the moment and I'm playing it carefully atm.

Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Hi @BunnyWalks
I am from a multicultural background! My mum is Japanese, my dad is Canadian/Irish/Indian. This blend of cultures has always opened my eyes to how our cultures or perceptions can affect us. I've found that from moving countries, every country has their perceptions and expectations. Do you think this might be why your parents feel in such a way about Australia? Does it differ to what they expected or are they comparing it to where they lived previously?
I really like what you said about trying to adapt and interact with people in your surrounding in an effective manner. That's a really good way to think and I've personally had to do that as well because every country I've lived in has been at least a bit different.

Here for you!

Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Hi @BunnyWalks

I'm a third generation Indian, and despite being born in Australia to a father who was also raised here, I've noticed that everyone, including him and I, have a different perspective on Australian culture. It can feel confusing, especially when you seem to have views that are quite different from your parents (and like @missep, I think it's wonderful you want to interact and adapt effectively!), but I think the steps you're taking to openly and honestly communicate with them is fantastic. I hope this will help bridge the gap between everyone's opinions, and you can hear their perspectives, while explaining your own desire to embrace your surroundings and force connections with people from your culture.


We're always here for you Smiley Happy 

Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Hi @Sweetbaking ,

I don't think it's bad to have different opinion but
I feel discouraged when I get lashed out at for with out them justifying why they think maybe This aspect of Australia culture is bad.

Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

@BunnyWalks - sounds really hard ! Culture is such a complex thing, and it can bring up a lot of emotions when it's questioned or criticised. 

Are you able to relate the parts of Australian culture that you enjoy, to things that they would relate to and enjoy in their own culture? 

Think about it in terms of values? Most cultures have some similar values that both groups of people can relate to and connect over - perhaps it would help to find out what these are so you can bond over that, rather than disagree over the differences?


Thank you for talking about this, as I'm sure it's something lots of people can relate to  - so many Australians are immigrants from various countries and cultures!  

I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: Clash of cultures an international student story

Hi @gina-RO,

I enjoy sport, comedy ( less lately) and reading books. Figuring out how not to use public transport is another for me. Living closer to uni with bike actually is very sensible.

Music festivals are something I'd like to experience as a yearly thing.

The relationship i have Australia the country is complex.

Culture is a sensitive topic and I do need sound guidance from peers who aren't white to help me navigate these eggshells.

If it's a down side Australia mainstream Australia isn't very enriching culturally (channel 9 , channel 7 and the ABC).

Having a break helps me out to not get too caught up.

It's almost taboo to appreciate a culture outside your bubble let's say if you were born in the country and played footy during high school as for me it alot to explain to another person and remain accountable.

You wouldn't have an exposure to how and an outsider may misread your gestures.

In intercultural relationships I suppose communication and negotiation are the pillars to get another person to understand you.

Mutual respect is a helpful way to win gain cooperation.

My parents have nationalistic tendencies hence conversation does revolve a lot around Malaysia.

They take their identity more seriously due to their profession.

I wouldnt know their reaction if I bought a white friend back to our home and how a mate would feel about it ?

Managing intercultural relationships is a big responsibility and not easy get the other side cheer for you. Who would I go to for that sort of help at University ?