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Clingy Asian parents

Hi Reachout, 

 

Thank you for putting substantial effort in being supportive of me.

 

My emotions feel recognised and it feels nice.

 

Appreciate you mods and people who have replied meaningfully. * Hugs* 

 

Traveling on foot in Australia is exhausting with delayed PT during the peak hour. I'm talking an hour standing. Minimum.

 

I was overweight in Australia. So this added to my physical and mental fatigue.

 

Embracing Australia culture well it's a lot to take in. 

 

My mum is particularly upset that i liked Australia culture alot more than traditional Asian culture, danker memes in Australia.

 

Personally asian culture is over emphasized during my childhood.

 

She yelled at me your " Your not Australian !!!" which did hurt .

 

Looking back Id rather be brought up as an adaptable student than someone proudly traditional.  This is probably due to my parents being civil servants and national pride is instilled in them.

 

During 2016-2017 , I had experienced burn out from university. 

 

What's was I stressing about : 

 

Am I doing the right course and taking responsibility for my own passions on a creative level ?

 

Internships.

 

Not Making friends and socialising.

 

Cost of food.

 

Cost of going out.( I rarely left the house)

 

What are the right volunteer opportunities ?

 

What if no one actually likes me ?

 

Actually having to think about my previous cultural identity.

 

Will anyone like me ?

 

My parents relationship with each other  were falling out due to political difference. They would call me 8 times during the semester. Usually late at night. Each lasting 45 minutes each. I felt drained emotionally and could not concentrate. They follow media in a very litteral sense. Often I think their comments are misguided.

 

This lead to isolation and self doubt.

 

My parents live in a world when there is a problem you can't fix it.

 

And time is not very generous when your on foot in Australia. You NEED to rest which I neglected.

 

Having boundaries, being assertive would help , how can I negotiate my identity with them ?

 

Right now I'm treating my phone as a traditional phone and will be looking to delete whatsapp. 

 

If I'm working as an expat somewhere foreign like Dubai. I'm going to need some boundaries as a professional or an adult

 

Right now they still me like this Asian Boy and I get mocked at for not finishing university on time in Australia.

 

 

 

Re: Clingy Asian parents

Hey @BunnyWalks it's definitely an affliction no doubt. You sound very torn between your parent's desires and heritage as well as your desire to feel okay about who you are, and who you want to be. Is there anyone in your life outside of your parents you can confide in about this? Have you considered chatting to a counsellor about it? It's important you feel comfortable in your identity and feel you can have some inner peace around this. How are you going with the boundaries?

Re: Clingy Asian parents

Hi @Bree-RO

 

That good emotional recognition you got there.

 

I had a chat with my dad about me downgrading to a dumb phone and calendar and if anyone wants to make a call to me we will make time via text or call and actually talk.

Smartphones are too frequent for me.

How's that for boundaries ? I'm welcoming other suggestions for boundaries.

I'm just really afraid cause in Asia everything is so hyriecal.

My parents are do not communicate well verbally so it takes them a long time to get their point across.

Right now I confide with a professional but not any friends.

Re: Clingy Asian parents

hey @BunnyWalks - thank you for sharing how supported you've felt by the community and the mods!! 
That is really nice to hear, and I agree that we have a pretty awesome community going on here Smiley Happy

 

Sounds like you've put in some great boundaries for yourself. 

Confiding in a professional and not friends is a-okay. You do what you feel ready for. 
Your professional support may be able to help you to work on a way to share more with your friends if you're wanting to do that. 

 

Re: Clingy Asian parents

@gina-RO

I appreciate it heaps dude really, thank you.
All of you do make it practical and encouraging.

Which is v important.