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Dating with an STD

I have had herpes type 2 for 6 months and type 1 for 3 months. I've just been finding it hard to find a nice guy because I have to tell them before they even kiss me now. I dated a guy I met from tinder he said he didn't care about me having it but he didn't seem to care about me either. He always hung out with his friends, when I came over to see him he would hang out with his friends. He was going to cross dress for his birthday. I asked him "what if guys hit on you?" he said "so..." for someone that's bi it wasn't a great response. He also had messages from other girls pop up on Facebook that he'd immediately close when he was around me. Most of the time when I tell people, they treat me like the plague and it kinda makes me want to give up and go back to the guy that gave it to me originally. I'm not even sure where I'd meet anyone to date. I tried positive singles but the guys on there are only after sex. I don't have any friends I hang out with I don't leave the house unless I have work which is only on weekends 

Re: Dating with an STD

Hey @Hicks, thanks for sharing your story. That is a really brave thing to do! What you are going through sounds really rough and I am sorry to hear that you felt like he didn't care. It really must be terrible to feel like people treat you like a plague, that is an unfair misconception. I think it is hard to find people to date in general but I know there are a lot of dating apps and websites out there (probably for a good reason). As long as you keep your boundaries up, I am sure there are some people who are interested in the same things as you Heart


These sorts of issues can really take a toll on ourselves and make us feel quite low. What have you been doing to look after yourself while you have been struggling? I am going to tag some other members so they can add their input as well, @Bee@lokifish@sweet_baking Smiley Happy

Re: Dating with an STD

Hi @Hicks, I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, it must be a difficult situation to manoeuvre. I agree with @Taylor-RO though, it's very courageous of you to share!

In regards to this guy you are seeing off Tinder, am I correct in saying it sounds like you may want commitment while he is not on the same page? It must hurt that he is being this way, so maybe would it help to talk things out with him and see what both of you want?

It must be quite hurtful that people treat you that way, society can be cruel when they are not educated on certain issues Smiley Sad But it's incredibly proactive of you to look at positive singles, and try find a relationship through there. 


May I ask, besides wanting to find a relationship, have you tried out different activities like sporting groups to try meet new people and make some friends? Sometimes that kind of support can be really comforting during a tough period, and I'm really glad you feel open enough to talk on RO because we are all here for you Smiley Happy

Re: Dating with an STD

Heya @Hicks,


I just wanted to reassure you and anyone else who's reading that herpes is actually REALLY common. 85% of Australians have type 1 herpes (cold sores) and about 20% have type 2. This isn't to say that we shouldn't try to prevent it being transmitted, but just to point out that a lot of people don't realise how common it is, which leads to people like yourself being ostracised Smiley Sad


It sucks that you've had bad experiences with guys in the past. I don't want to be #notallmen (especially as a fellow woman) but I'd bet there are definitely STD positive guys out there who don't just want sex. Dating can be tough, but if you're wanting a relationship then hang in there Heart

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish

Re: Dating with an STD

Hey @Hicks
I just wanted to pop in and say hi, I don't have any advice but the other mods have given you some awesome advice Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Dating with an STD

@Bee I have been considering injecting different medications so that I wouldn't have to worry about letting dates know about it. I'm just a bit worried about if if certain medications would be dangerous. I'm not talking about illegal drugs just things you can get over the counter and maybe some herbs as well while I eat all the trigger foods and a lot of healthy food as well.

General relationship and....

Since having herpes for 2 years, I've been considering doing a range of different injections (nothing illegal) to at least get it to a stage where I can actually kiss someone on the mouth without spreading it. If possible I want to cure it but I'm not too sure if it would be dangerous to take olive leaf extract and herbs. 

Re: General relationship and....

Hey @Hicks 


Thanks for updating us on how you're managing. It's great to consider all the options you have when approaching any health concern. I just wanted to suggest that you don't go ahead with any injections, medications or treatments until you have discussed it with a GP. It's really important that you get the right advice when it comes to your health Heart 


If you're interested there is some information here on treatment options for herpes type one and two can be found here and here. I strongly recommend speaking with a doctor about any ideas you for treatment Smiley Happy 


Also, just wanted to let you know I moved your other thread into this one as it is the same topic and we try to avoid duplicating threads.