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Depressed living with in-laws

My husband and I got married very young and don't have much savings so we are currently staying with his parents temporarily until he finds a new job for financial reasons. We cannot afford a place on our own with my small teacher’s salary. We have been here for 3 months so far. It is very hard for me to feel emotionally connected to him, while we are staying here because of all the time we spend with his parents. We haven’t had sex since we moved in and I can’t bring my self to have sex with him while we are living here. I am just very turned off by it and knowing that they are down the hall turns me off!!! My husband is very insecure about not finding a job and not being able to support us, and so I feel like I can’t bring up any of my struggles or it will make him feel even more depressed, which in turn makes me feel even more disconnected from him. When he applies or interviews for a position, he doubts himself and keeps his expectations very low. I think this shows in his interviews because he lacks the confidence, which is making the process even longer... I've tried building him up by affirming him or offering to help him prepare to no avail.... How can I help him to build his confidence and become attracted to him sexually again? Thank you for your help x


Re: Depressed living with in-laws

Hi @Mimi1995,


We can see this is your first post- Welcome to ReachOut! 


It sounds like moving in with your husband's family has had a really big impact on you both in many different aspects of your lives. Before moving into your in-laws house, were you both living out of home?


Finding work can be really challenging and have a really big impact on self esteem and wellbeing. Has your husband been able to communicate with you about how he feels about looking for work? Is he linked in with any agencies to support him to find work?


I can hear that you have really been trying to do everything you can to build up his self confidence and help him take steps forward in seeking work- he is very lucky to have someone so invested in his wellbeing Smiley Happy I'm wondering if you have had a look at the Relationships Australia website before? They are an organisation that support individuals, couples or families around all different areas in relationships. They offer counselling, fact sheets and other supports you might find helpful to support your husband and work through the difficulties around sex. Would you be interested in having a look at what they can offer?


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