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Re: Discouraged about finding a job

Hi @Taylor-RO, yeah usually my girlfriend supports me but recently she has also been dismissive which has actually been way harder than with anyone else.

This has very occasionally happened with her before but ironically I feel like this time it started shortly after I'd had a conversation with her about the fact I was always ignored made to feel invisible when I was younger and now felt like I needed to feel validated more often.

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

Aw @Rattata that must be so hard to notice your girlfriend is being dismissive after you spoke to her about being ignored when you were younger. Is this something you'd feel comfortable to bring up with her? 

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

@Bre-RO I haven't seen her in a while so I brought it up with her over text last night and she apologised but I didn't really feel like she understood why I felt that way, and so it didn't really feel like a sincere apology and she was still a little dismissive of what I was saying. 

I don't really know how to feel anymore.

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

It makes sense that you're feeling a bit confused right now @Rattata, I think the aftermath of handling how to approach a situation after someone hurts you is always really hard. I think it can be incredibly difficult to keep people accountable while also trying to see their perspective - especially if they've already apologised. Sometimes the most important thing to do is listen to how you're feeling and explore why this feels off, and how you would have preferred her to apologize, and then use that as a base to explain the expectations you have for your relationship to her 

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

I feel so conflicted. 
I recently took a job doing paper delivery in an attempt to earn some money while I continue to look for a job. The first week was okay because they were giving out $20 extra for new people, the pay still wasn’t great for the amount of time and effort I’d put into it but it was still an income of sorts. Since that first week however the pay has gotten worse and worse but the amount of time put into it has pretty much stayed the same, but I’ve kept with it because I have no other form of income. 
This week I was contracted to be payed the equivalent to one hours work on minimum wage, and given I gave 8 or so hours to this I feel as if I shouldn’t continue. I’ve been hesitant to stick with it from the start but now I really feel exploited and that I should quit, however I feel as if I can’t quit because I have no other income to fall back on and don’t want to have to go back to earning nothing all the time. 
So basically I’m feeling incredibly conflicted and can’t sleep because I don’t know if it’s worse to be exploited or to have no income at all. Smiley Sad

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

Hey @Rattata 

This sounds super rough, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. Looking for work is such a pain and when you find a job that isn't great its so frustrating - I am really feeling this frustration for you @Rattata ! This situation sounds incredibly unfair, and I can imagine its a physically tiring job too, which must be especially hard if you're not sleeping well  Smiley Sad

 

I'm not sure if this is helpful, but would you want to look into your rights as a worker? Sometimes just having that bit of information can be quite empowering, maybe checking out Fair Work could have some useful stuff on it or some ideas on what to do, sorry if that isn't helpful at all! 

It does seem like you're in a really tough spot with deciding whether to continue with this job, I don't think anyone would blame you for quitting it and continuing to look for something else. Looking for work is super exhausting, and I can imagine that doing this job would be using a lot of your physical and emotional energy which would make looking for jobs harder. Are you leaning more towards one way or the other?

I'm also wondering how you wind down after a day of work? Not sleeping really sucks, is there something nice you could do for yourself to help relax a bit?

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

@Hannah-RO Thanks for understanding, it's really been messing with my head and although I really am leaning towards quitting, I feel so guilty and I like I should try sticking with it a little longer. I don't actually understand how to quit anyway and I feel like I'm going to get stuck for too long because I'm socially anxious and don't know how to quit or ask questions.

Winding down depends on how I'm feeling but at the moment I'm also really stressed because of my uni assessments that are due and I'm really struggling with feeling stuck and not knowing how to articulate things.

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

Ah that really sucks that you're feeling that guilt @Rattata, have you been able to chat to anyone in your life about how the job is making you feel and that you're thinking of quitting?

I forgot to add yesterday that we have a great content piece on Rights at Work which could be good to have a look at - and another piece on what to do if you're stuck in a job you don't like. Maybe one of those might have a couple of handy tips in them Heart

I totally get what you're saying about quitting though, it is a big decision and might seem a bit unclear as to how to do it. It's often best to do it in person as well as provide something in writing with the date you'll be leaving. ABC has a really good article called "How to quit your job like a boss" which gives quite a good overview of what is required when leaving a job.

I'm sorry uni is stressful at the moment too, its sounds like you have so much going on @Rattata you must be exhausted. Have you got anything nice planned for this weekend? Maybe booking in some rest time?

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

@Hannah-RO Yeah I've basically talked about it with everyone is split or thinks the same things as me.

I sent an email hoping to resign so we'll just see how it goes now and I can get on with applying again and working on uni.

I wish I could have some relax time and some nice plans but I've got another assessment due on Monday that I've been leaving a particularly annoying part for too long and am now so behind, but hopefully after a few days I can have some chill time.

Re: Discouraged about finding a job

That would have been a lot to deal with @Rattata, but from what I can hear you've handled things really well! I hope you can have some downtime to relax after your assignment is done as well Smiley Happy