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Everyday Confessions

I just wanted to make a thread where we can confess our everyday annoyances, secrets and thoughts without having to make a new thread. I love to get things off my chest and I often find myself going on tangents about stuff that matters to me. I'm forever finding random messages I've written in the middle of the night and I love looking back on them. Does anyone else do this or is it just me?
I'll start this thread off by sharing my latest 4am journal entry with you all:

As one of my hobbies is playing video games, I often hear people talk about how women would like to be represented and what would women would like to see in a game. But none of what I hear seems to apply to me. I'm a complete 180 to the view that women only like games like Animal Crossing and The Sims and get offended by more mature content in other kinds of games. I've seen it all and kept up with the guys in almost every way. I have standards and values, but even the guys I know aren't as rebellious and rowdy as I am when we play the same games. I've had an absolute blast exploring the wilder sides of myself through games and while the choices I make may not always be right, I don't regret making them. I have my own opinions and preferences but I wouldn't shame another person or try to make them feel like they're less or a human for doing things I wouldn't personally do.

Those attitudes really hurt me when I was growing up as I felt like I couldn't be myself. Some people get shocked that I'm not innocent when they see this side of me and someone has even told me that they would be disappointed if their child had the same taste in games. People think it is intimidating when a woman strives for these kinds of experiences and does stereotypically masculine things. But I love that I am sure of myself and know how to have fun. I'm far from a 'good girl' but that's okay.

Re: Everyday Confessions

This is pretty much me most of the time. Thanks for the thread.

 

People who don't know me well tend to assume that something is wrong with me when I get annoyed/frustrated/angry even though I am level-headed and have been described as chill by some. On top of this, they also misattribute my mood for my diagnosis. 

 

 

Re: Everyday Confessions

Hey @WheresMySquishy, I love your stance on your feminine strength, and I can see that you don't let stereotypes pull you back from doing what you love and enjoy! I understand that you feel like you need to "keep up with the guys", and I know that so many other women feel the exact same, not only in gaming, but in life. 
I really enjoy the idea that you can explore the wilder sides of your life through gaming, and I would love for you to share what kinds of games help you find these qualities in yourself? 

I find that really interesting Smiley Happy

Women are beginning to break through stereotypical ideas of life. Your confidence and strength is quite admiring Heart

Re: Everyday Confessions

@hunginc I'm sorry that people often mistake your attributes for a small part of you that they see, I bet that would be super frustrating. When you begin getting older, personalities shift and change, so I guess it becomes easy for some people to identify you in one way and other people to identify you another e.g. "chill". I personally can see that chill side of you, and feel you have come to terms with the contrasting views of others. Would you like to talk more about your frustration you experience, or how these perspectives make you feel?

Re: Everyday Confessions

@Kaylee-RO An example of this is Stefi Cohen. I will make a bold claim and say that she is stronger than your average gymbro, haha

 

I don't really want to talk about it as I just wanted to let it out. "Yea, cool, meh, whatever" is what I feel about it, haha

Re: Everyday Confessions

@hunginc OHMY!  I am a little gym guru myself so I absolutely love that! True Women strength and drive right there! Thank you for sharing that, I have already showed my partner haha!

Haha I am glad, meh is the best way to go about it, your opinion is the most special always Smiley Very Happy

Re: Everyday Confessions

@Kaylee-RO  I agree that there have been big shifts in how women act over the years. I have seen this reflected in games too. Female characters are generally depicted to be more autonomous now, even in games that are aimed at female audiences.
Something I like to do when playing games is think about what the creators are trying to convey. Videogames can say a lot of things about society and culture through their portrayal of gender. There are still a lot of double standards and cognitive dissonance amongst game developers, the media and the players themselves, especially in areas of gender and sexuality. It is super tricky to explain and can go in multiple directions. There are so many example of this.
I've even sometimes disagreed with what other females say about games.
I find that choice-based games (e.g., role-playing games, visual novels, etc.) help me to explore my identity the most out of any genre of games. I used to be quite a passive person, but as I got older and played more of these games, I became more confident and assertive. I can take care of myself, I'm not much a pushover any more and I have more clarity to be able to tell when I'm being taken advantage of. Many video game characters will try to trick you (especially in these genres and this goes for characters of any gender) and I often make it clear I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour in both games and real life. I have rejected many popular choices because they went against my values. I don't think I would have had the strength to do that when I was younger or if I didn't have self-esteem or confidence. Some people have criticised me for being outspoken. I think it intimidates them when a woman demands to be treated with respect and is vocal about what she wants. I think women should have the freedom to make their own choices and speak their mind. Sometimes, I want to say, 'Let me have my fun and make my own decisions, even if they're wrong!' And it's often not until you actually make the decision that you realise what it says about yourself, such as your personality and what's most important to you.

Re: Everyday Confessions

I can understand the views that you have around gaming @WheresMySquishy. I think that developers not being flexible with character building could be really discouraging for individuals. I have heard that some new games have decided to be more flexible and inclusive with genders and identities, which is good. Do you have any particular games that you find to be really positive/good and that you enjoy?

Re: Everyday Confessions

Hi @WheresMySquishy 

 

That's a really interesting statement to say, and I think it's great that you are breaking the mold of what "female gamers" are expected to be. You're a gamer, and I don't think there should be any difference in expectation and treatment regardless of gender as long as everyone is having fun and being respectful.

 

Keep doing you!