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Re: Exercises to control tears

Thankyou everyone, I tried some exercises and some work some don't! I have just have a hard week but things are getting better! Smiley Happy

Re: Exercises to control tears

@cordial99 I'm glad some things work and that you feel like things are getting better! I'm sorry you had a hard week, though. We're here if you feel like chatting about your week. 

Re: Exercises to control tears

My mother won't talk to me and I don't know what I've done.
Me, Dad and mum had an argument the other night about my career path, they don't agree with the way I'm going about things that I have my heart set on.
I am still 17 and live at home, nearly finished year 12. Our school has a fixed lock in contract traineeship in admin for one year that my parents wanted me to apply for, and when I didn't follow up on it they were furious but it is not something I want to do.
They say I have to move out of home when I finish school but I'm not ready and have no savings ect and I will still be 17, I have places to go to but I'm scared that they will follow through with it.
I have tried talking to them and they don't understand my logic with my decision.
And now my mum won't even acknowledge me.
I know my boyfriend spoke to mum because I was so upset and he told her that maybe I should find my own feet and work it out for myself, he said it the nicest way but I think mum took it wrong and now she really is making me find my own way as she wouldn't let me have any food and she won't even look at me
I don't know why I've done to make her act like this and it is really upsetting me!

Re: Exercises to control tears

@cordial99 I'm really sorry to hear that your mum's not speaking to you - I can definitely understand why you'd feel so upset about the whole situation, it sounds very stressful and upsetting! It's absolutely your right to make your own decisions about what you want to do when you finish school. 

Would you feel safe and okay to talk to your dad or to another family member that you trust about the situation with your mum? I can imagine she's upset but it's not okay for her not to acknowledge you and it's not okay for her not let you have any food. 

If you feel up to a chat with someone on the phone about what's happening you can always call Kids Helpline - 1800 55 1800 - or they have webchat as well if you don't want to talk on the phone. 

Re: Exercises to control tears

Thanks, I just spoke to my Dad, and he seems just as angry as Mum,

He said thier problem is me, that i am indecisive about everything (Which is true) but they say they need to 'push me over the edge' to do stuff (such as get my licence, do well in school and choose a university) they push me until i snap 

I didnt want to get my licence because I was scared and I had already failed twice and couldnt afford to go again

they wanted me to do well in school, year 11 i tried really hard and they knew that but i failed a majority of subjects

year 12 i just had no motivation but enough to put the effort in that i needed to just scrape through

and now i have applied for further education oncehave finished year 12 (just have 3 exams left!!!!!!!!!!)

- Cert 3 in policing

- Cert 3 in Conservation and Land Management

- Cert 3 in agriculture 

- Foundation Studies

- Associate degree in Law

-Bachelor of Nursing

I would like to apply for the police force in South Australia and Victoria, but cannot do so until march as I dont meet the age requirments! Smiley Sad But as soon as I am old enough i will apply

I dont want to do nursing or the school traineeships (mentioned in the last post) as I have nointerest in nursing butmymum wanted me to apply so i did, and I dont want to do the trainee ship because it is afixed 12 month contract and if i apply for the police force i cant get in until i have finished the trainee ship - but I applied for it anyway as it is what my parents have been pushing me to do and ive tried to stop as many arguments as I can.

 

My mum always compares meto my boyfriends sister (who happens to be my bestfriend) me and her both work in the same horse racing stable and her dreamis to become an apprentice jockey, she hasappplied and her mumtoldher she canliive with us, asmy work is only around the corner. The thing i dont understand is that my mum has said shecanlive withus when shegets accepted but i have tomove out ofhome if icontinue working there even though we are at the same workplace. Mum always compares me to my firend and always putsme downasmyfirend 'works forwhat she gets' even though i am the same.

They just dont seemy problem I get so frustrated and when I try to talk to them I get angry because they dont listen and i end up crying which makes them yell at me becuase i am a sook. 

 

 

Re: Exercises to control tears

@cordial99 I hear how overwhelming everything seems for you right now. It sounds like there's heaps going on on top of year 12 which can be super stressful just on its own. I'm concerned about you and your wellbeing.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling lots of pressure from your parents. It's not cool for your mum to be comparing you to your friend and putting you down.

It concerns me to hear in your earlier post that you don't have access to food at the moment - I'd just like to check in to ask if you are safe right now?

Re: Exercises to control tears

@khaleesi_18 Yes I am safe right now, I am in my bedroom, I have some apples, I will be okay! Thanks didn't mean to make anyone worry for me like that!

I was hoping somebody could give me suggestions as to why my parents are acting the way they are. Like i said i tried to talk to them but it doesn't work out.

Re: Exercises to control tears

Okay @cordial99! We care about your wellbeing at RO and want to make sure you are okay and safe. I'm wondering what self care looks like for you?

As for why your parents are reacting this way, I think the only people that know the answer to that is them. I'm sorry that they seem to react in a negative way, but it's really awesome of you to try to talk your perspective through with them. It sounds like things are a bit heated at home atm.
I'm wondering if there is someone at school that you could chat to about what's going on (school counsellor, career counsellor, trusted teacher etc)?

Re: Exercises to control tears

Yes I see a counsellor at school, but I started school holidays just as these arguments started, so I can't see her for a few more weeks

I find that talking helps me a lot, I generally talk to my councillor about big problems and she helps me search for answers! then I speak to my boyfriend who is a bit older and has been through all this and knows how to help me deal with things (he gets along with my mum very well and they talk a fair bit, he seems to get a minority of my point across to her when i cant without getting himself involved which helps me a lot!!) but he is away for a few more days (worst timing!!)

Generally if i am upset I isolate myself and either just go to bed and listen to music loudly so i can't concentrate so i don't have to think about it, I have only been on RO for a few weeks but I have found it helps a lot!! never considered this before and i'm glad a friend recommended it to me as you guys help!!!!!!

I am hoping that things blow over for the next few days, and go back to normal.

Re: Exercises to control tears

Hey @cordial99 I'm sorry things aren't that great atm. Like @khaleesi_18 said the only way to really know for sure what's up with your parents is by asking them and if they're not willing to communicate, maybe try letting them know via a quick postie or verbally that you're up to talk when they're ready for it. Also, see if it helps to say how you feel instead of what they're doing to upset you. So open things up with 'I feel like...'. End of the day there's only so much you can do to get them to talk if they don't want to! Sometimes people just need time to blow off steam or figure things out on their own..I'm wondering if reading up on this might help?

 

I'm glad you've got some support going in your counsellor, boyfriend and now RO. While you're feeling down, what else can you do to help you feel better?