Feeling bad about reaching out for mental health support

[Love_elmo77]

Awhile ago on the news or a current affair it reported how lots of young people are reaching out for mental health support on tv & i heard my parents say “Wow young people these days have a mental health issue over such a small problem eg.finding work and mum and dad where Iike saying “ when i was there age i didn’t have any mental health problems and was like comparing there younger self to young ppl these days they even said “all they have to do is wait until this covid thing is over to find a job”which sort of made me feel bad about reaching out for support, should i feel bad about wanting to talk to a counsellor about a problem or even being on these forums because of what i heard my parents say?

[Andrea-RO]

hey @Love_elmo77, 

I definitely understand where you're coming from with that - as someone who works in the mental health industry, I've had a lot of conversations with adults who are dismissive or downplay the importance of mental health for young people. I think a lot of the time it comes down to a couple of things, a) they aren't able to acknowledge that the world was a lot different during their upbringing, and so they were very lucky to grow up in a time of relative prosperity and strong economic growth (in the west at least!!), and that this probably played a big part of their mental health and the opportunities they had been afforded in life, and b) they might be unwilling to admit (or unable to remember) that maybe they did have shitty time growing up, and they might have been better off getting some professional support if it had been available to them. I also think generational attitudes play a big part of this, mental healthcare is still seen as a bit of a taboo topic for older generations, while young people are waaaay more likely to embrace open conversations around mental health, how they're feeling, and seeking support. I definitely think that you should try and get some support if you need it, and you should never feel guilty for doing so!! That's what it's there for!!!

[Wolfie_]

Hi @Love_elmo77

I think @Andrea-RO couldn't have communicated or explained that better - there is such a difference in the generations its just not comparing apples with apples. Similarly, social media has played a MASSIVE role in youths mental health concerns, of which your parents generation never experienced. It is also likely your parents did experience mental health concerns but were unable to label what was going on. The communication in todays society has improved SO much compared to 10-30 years ago. I know even when I was younger, around 12 years ago, I often experienced anxiety but didnt know what it was simply because I didnt have a label for it.

You should definitely not feel bad about talking to a counsellor. You see a doctor when you've got a stomach ache and we see a counsellor when we have a mental health ache. I think youre incredibly mature and independent to acknowledge your need for these resources and use them!

[Lost_Space_Explorer5]

Hey @Love_elmo77, you definitely shouldn't be feeling bad for seeking help. It's actually a really brave and insightful thing to do. I agree with Andrea-RO and Wolfie_, I think previous generations had mental health issues growing up but they didn't have a label and there was too much stigma. Perhaps there was this ideal stoic personality that everyone should have or maybe that the group they belonged to mattered more than them as an individual. Also, only really noticeable mental health issues would have been caught. And then issues which weren't even mental health issues were 'caught'. Yeah psychology has come a long way but still has a lot further to go. My mum had mental health issues when she was young, but she doesn't talk about them at all now and says the same thing about the younger generation these days, that we have nothing to be sad about because we have it better. But everyone's experience is valid, no matter what generation or environment they grew up in. Idk maybe their parents were saying that to them so they say it to us. Maybe people say that kind of thing because it gives them a boost so they feel stronger than others and also maybe they feel bitter because they never got validation or support when they were young

[ayrc_1904]

Hey @Love_elmo77 

I'm glad you reached out for some advice. I loved the way @Andrea-RO  explained everything. I can actually relate to you in many aspects. My parents also said similar things, but I feel that they also don't quite understand the generational differences. It's often just misunderstanding or lack of education about mental health, but I'm sure they didn't mean to make you feel hurt or ashamed. 

I definitely think you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to talk to a counsellor. In fact, I'm so proud of you that you've recognised you could have some help, and took that first step! WOOHOO!!  No matter what others say, look after yourself. It seems that you're self-aware and understand when you need a little advice. Go you! We all have your back on these forums 

[Love_elmo77]

@Andrea-RO i pretty much agree with you on this,could they also be embarrassed about seeking for mental health support because of there upbringing?

[Love_elmo77]

@Wolfie_ omg me too I experienced anxiety when I was younger but didnt really know how to label it when i was younger,i still remember my teachers tellling us about anxiety and showing us some forums on here in class,i guess that’s what led me to joining the forums but i wished i joined when i was a little bit younger

[Love_elmo77]

@lost_Space_Exporer5 yeah i agree with you they may of have issues when they were younger, i’ve heard my mum say the same thing to me “you have nothing to stress about because i had it better than her when she was younger & it’s just a learning curve” it’s annoying when i hear my parents say that & that it could give them a boost so they feel stronger or because they never got validation or support when they were younger

[Love_elmo77]

@ayrc_1904 i hope it’s just a misunderstanding or lack of education about mental health and dont mean to make me feel hurt or ashamed too....

[Bre-RO]

@Love_elmo77 I just wanted to second what other people have said here so far. There are huge generational differences with how mental health is perceived - there are lots of contributing factors. In saying this, it is really hard to hear these opinions especially when going through a hard time. It has been something that has personally made me feel really angry about when I'm struggling. I try to remind myself that not everyone thinks that way and there are people who get it - find those people in your life ( and here on the forums) and stick with them. I've learnt there are some people that I can't share my personal mental health journey with and while it's hard, it's the best option for me. Sending you lots of comfort and support - know we are always here for you.