Finding other female friends to vibe with is HARD AF

[Rosemmbles]

hey im rose

22

and im a Sagittarius.
just want to quickly throw in that i really just want other females interacting with this post.

if you dont know what a sagittarius is, well, basically im super passionate about my feelings. when im sad im SAD. when im happy im HAPPY. and when im mad im MAD.

high school was very traumatic for me, my female group was very two-faced and bitchy and i found myself walking on egg shells into my adult life, finding it hard to vibe with other females cause in the back of my mind all i hear is "Shut up, they dont care about what youre saying and theyre not interested in you!"

and when i do try i find it forced and boring and i just want to leave cause this girl isnt putting any effort back.

so.... do you ladies also find it hard?
cause i want female friends who want to go to a painting class with me and drink wine. have brunch. a real Sex and the City type of female love and companionship.

again, i only want females interacting with this post. id love to hear what youre worst female friend date is, what turned you off making female friends and what type of stuff do you want to do with your female friends?

[clarii3105]

Hey @Rosemmbles! I can definitely empathise with how you feel. I too had a lot of problems growing up making genuine connections with other women - I went to an all girls private school which was super catty and cliquey, so I grew to prefer making male friends over female friends pretty quickly. Luckily since I left school it's not like that anymore, and I have many beautiful friends of all genders. 

What have been your strategies thus far when it comes to making female friends? I found that volunteering (specifically for an animal rights organisation, but it could be anything) is a great way to meet like minded women (or men, or people of any gender) because you're all working toward a common goal. Uni clubs & societies are great if you're a student. There are also many interest-based social groups around via methods like Meetup.com and facebook groups, so if you're into painting and the like there will be a group for it!

I honestly found that when it came to making good, long term female friends the best thing to do was to keep trying and keep contriving opportunities to meet new people. Because while there are a lot of people out there you may not vibe with, I promise there are plenty of people out there with whom a genuine connection is possible 

best of luck with everything from a fellow female!

[Macaria]

Oh I can definitely understand how you feel, female friends are really difficult to cope with. When I was in high school, there were only around 15 people in my class and 2/3 of them are females... I felt like I was living in an environment with judgements and negatives... like I literately didn't know who really liked me, or just pretended to like me and then spoke behind my back

[Kaylee-RO]

Hi @Rosemmbles, 

Your Sagittarius personality sounds completely pure! Optimistic and Honest, love it.

I'm sorry you've reached this stage of uncertainty and yearning for something more, believe me as a girl I know the feeling too. It is so normal to go through these stages, I did myself and can relate to the high school faze a whole lot, but I do want to point out that your desire for more is really awesome and time will bring that forth to you. 

I loved some of @clarii3105 ideas, reaching out to groups with likeminded people can be a massive transformation for you. Some of the best people I have met have been through putting myself out there, whether it has been at work, or in social settings/groups. You won't always connect with some, and that's cool, but stay open minded and confident and they will come.

Based off your last question, I love being active with my female friends, I have a few different groups depending on interests. Some are my exercise buddies, some are my adventure buddies (hiking through gorgeous places, brush and sip painting, holidaying, and live music) and then there is my chit chat ones (coffee and dinners). 
I highly urge you to throw yourself out to the world, sometimes you don't just get 1 friend that likes what you do, but a variety 

[Kaylee-RO]

Hi @Rosemmbles, just wanted to check in with you and see how everything is going? 
I was wondering if you have had any thought about some of the suggestions made, and the possibility of reaching out to a social group of interest? 

Would love to hear how you're travelling with it all. 

[Bingo1234]

Hey @Rosemmbles! I can definitely relate to this post. Although I do have a big group of female friends I find that the time we spend together is filled with drama and bitchiness at times. I often wish that everyone would be more chilled out and would just want to spend time together and have fun without all the fuss and fighting. I'm finding now that I just take a step back from it all if I think everyone is being too intense and dramatic. In terms of what stuff I'd like to be doing with female friends I'd love to do some wholesome activities- similar to the ones you listed. 

[Sophia-RO]

Hey @Bingo1234, it sucks to hear that you experience a lot of drama and bitchiness with your friends. I can't imagine that would be a nice environment to be in constantly! Being able to take a step back away from the drama is a really awesome strategy. I am glad to hear that it has been helpful for you so far!

[WheresMySquishy]

It can be so hard to make loyal friends @Rosemmbles. I also find it difficult to make friends.
I had a lot of similar experiences in high school. Girls can be very spiteful and talk about people behind their back. I particularly dislike when women go out of their way to shame or try to bring down other women for their life choices.
I think that anyone would be lucky to have a friend with the qualities that you've described. I would love to have you as a friend myself.

[Rosemmbles]

hey! ive been making little steps.

at the moment im trying to talk to the girls at work a little bit more and playing with my makeup for work.

ive also been talking to some of my cousins as well. you know, taking baby steps to woman im comfortable around. though the ladies in my family love to gossip but ive been putting my foot down with them saying i dont want to talk about others like that.

[Kaylee-RO]

Hey @Rosemmbles, it's nice to hear from you again!

Aw little steps is absolutely perfect, friendships take time and lots of nurturing, so have some fun with it  It is nice to hear you are connecting with your friends from work, are they all the same ages or different age groups? I love working purely because of the friendships that can be made, across all different age groups! It can be really refreshing! 

Super proud of you for putting your foot down and maintaining your truth to yourself, it is so important