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Friendship Issues

Hey I’ve been having some trouble with my friends, it’s a bit of a long story and a little complicated but I’d appreciate if someone could listen 

Re: Friendship Issues

Hi @Maesa, welcome to the forums!

I'll probably be hanging around the forums for a bit; I can listen if you'd like. 

Re: Friendship Issues

Thanks so much, so for quite a while now my two best friends like to pick on me. Usually its all in good fun and I take it like a pro, but recently they've said really hurtful things behind my back and to my face. I brought it up with both of them and they claim to have never called me "annoying" which my boyfriend and I both heard them say to my face, and they told me I talk too much. they also said I don't check in on them and see how they're doing, I just talk about myself. This isn't true, I ask them how they are a lot more lately but they always brush me off and say that they're good and happy.

It's not until I talk about myself that they complain that they have enough going on in their lives. I think its unfair how I'm being treated. I also heard what they said about me behind my back from my bf, because one of them was complaining to him. I told them I'd rather them be open and honest to my face instead of hearing about them talking behind my back. Sorry for the rant 

Re: Friendship Issues

@Maesa   Welcome to the forums!

That sounds so tough. Smiley Sad I think it's reasonable for you to think that they are treating you unfairly. If my friends did that to me, I would be upset with them too.

If they are denying what you and your boyfriend both heard them say, then they could possibly be gaslighting. In my experience, that's not a sign of a good or healthy friendship or relationship. They also don't sound supportive of you in my opinion.

Only you can decide what to do about what your friends are doing. Here is a quiz that can help you decide whether your friends are toxic. This article might also apply to your situation.
You could try to talk to them about how you feel about their behaviour. This article might help with that. Are there any teachers or neutral parties that could help mediate the situation between you and your friends?
If you decide to stop being friends with them (it's totally up to you), here are some ideas about how to go about it.

What do you think?

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Re: Friendship Issues

Hi @Maesa, and welcome to ReachOut! As @Tiny_leaf mentioned, we are always here to listen when you need to chat Heart

 

It sounds like such a challenging situation you are in at the moment, and I think @WheresMySquishy  has provided some great resources that might be helpful too.

 

You have mentioned that you would prefer to have communication open and honest with them. I think this is a very mature approach. Before this point, have your friends been approachable or open to having discussions about your friendship? Do you have other friends outside of these two and your boyfriend as well?

 

We would love to hear back from you when you have some time Heart We have had a fair few of our members in really similar situations who may be able to offer some support from their experiences too Heart

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