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Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hey everyone!

I want to start off by introducing myself. My name is Aki. I am 19 going on 20 this year. I've always been someone who loves talking and meeting new people (just socializing in general) and love giving back to the community in any way I can. My favorite hobby is to play around with makeup I guess you can say it's my form of art. I am currently looking for a job (like the job I studied for and want to work in).

 

Whilst I was in high school I had lots of things I wanted to do with my friends and accomplish on my own. I went out, here and there with my friends as well as get myself a job (mostly to occupy myself and buy makeup). As time went by I enrolled to study something that I always wanted to do/ had to study for the profession I want to be in. I was pretty occupied then. Once I finished studying I've been at home mostly looking for a job (well the profession I want to work in). When I try to make plans with friends they are busy and I understand that everyone has their list of priorities and have to manage other things as well. I also ended up drifting apart from lots of people. At the moment I am grateful for everything I have and so glad I've successfully finished studying and I still have my best friends around me. I still feel lonely in a sense. A part of me is confused and not sure what I'm doing with my life and the other part of me feels lonely. I don't know how to get out there, I feel like I'm trapped in a sense. I have almost everything I want in life. I've been in a long term happy relationship, have my best friends around me, my family who are always there for me (I spoke to one of my best friends and she's on the same boat as me. My partner doesn't really know what to do, he's not exactly the best with advice. I don't want to tell my other best friends and my family because I feel like a burden in a sense) and I finished studying. For most people, they would be pretty content with their life.

 

So I made up my mind, I want to get myself out there. That's why I came on here in hopes of meeting new people as well as maybe get some advice/ tips from you! I know this is super long but I just wanted to get this off my chest. If you want to get something off your chest, go for gold. Thank you for reading Smiley Very Happy 

Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hi @xo_aki and welcome to ReachOut! We are really grateful you have joined this community and have taken the brave step to reach out online to meet new people, share your thoughts and seek some advice Smiley Happy

 

Your post really resonated with me, and I am sure with a lot of other young people online here. In particular, you mentioned feeling that sense of loneliness and feeling a bit "trapped" or confused about where to go from here. I hear you and you are certainly not alone in feeling this way!

 

I am going to tag a few of our members who may be able to offer their insights Smiley Happy

@_Artemis_  @WheresMySquishy @-Cait-  @CowboyBebop @Groovy_Popsicles @Jane_Rose @Hozzles @lennycat2017 @LovesFood 

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Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hi @xo_aki welcome!!! Heart
Along with @Jess1-RO, your post also resonates with me. I am of very similar age to you, only a year older, I too am in a long term happy relationship and I too have lost contact with a lot of friends but still have a couple very good friends. I think as you get older it just does become harder to catch up with people, the busy side of our lives starts to take hold, but if they are real friends I am sure they will make an effort to keep in touch with you, and if they don't, maybe you don't want them around you anyway. It's so important to surround yourself with people who want to be there. I also love makeup however I definitely would not be as good as you, I learn everything off my best friend who does makeup as a secondary side job. (have you ever thought about making makeup your career? maybe you could hold makeup workshops for other young girls?) And I too also get the lonely feelings you describe, despite having a wonderful life. (I think we will make great friends haha). The only difference I think is that I am still studying at university and have not finished yet. 
First of all I want to say that it is completely normal to have these feelings, and I know of many many people who have finished studying and still have not found a job in their field or are not sure what they want to pursue as a career. In fact I have people I know who haven't even started studying yet because they are still so unsure of what to do, so you're one step ahead already! I'm glad you spoke to your friend about how you're feeling, and that she understood your feelings must have been a huge relief! The fact you can recognise your feelings and be proactive about them (telling your friends, joining RO etc) shows you are very confident in yourself and that's something to be proud of. This confidence will help you get the job that you want once you find one to apply for and that is right for you.

Perhaps you should go travelling??? Travelling changes many peoples lives, for the better, and can open all sorts of opportunities. 


It's okay to feel not 'content' with your life the way you feel like you should, it doesn't mean you're not grateful for the things you have, it only makes you human. I too am sorry for the long reply, but I totally can relate to everything you were saying and I look forward to talking to you more & getting to know you better x 

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Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hey,

Thank you @Jess1-RO for reaching out and means a lot knowing that I'm not alone Smiley Very Happy

Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hi @xo_akiSmiley Very Happy

Again, like the others here, your post resonates with me quite a bit, especially that sense of feeling confused, alone and 'trapped'. 

First off, I'd like to applaud you for making this post, it is really brave to be able to share your thoughts and reach out. Recognising declines in your mental health before they worsen is a really important skill to have.

Like @Jane_Rose said, I think it's very normal for people our age to feel this way. After the routine of school we're kind of just pushed out into the big wide world and have to find our feet, which isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. There's no manual that tells you how to deal with the more 'adult' parts of life after school and gaining your independence. Being on the internet I've come across a wide variety of others who feel similar and have come to the conclusion that no one really knows how to 'adult', and that most people are just making it up as they go along (as they become smarter/ wiser). Just know you're not alone in feeling this way.

It is definitely important to keep yourself surrounded by people who you support and know can support you. While it is difficult to keep in contact with others as it gets busier, sometimes it becomes a good opportunity to reevaluate your friendships. I lost almost all contact with most of my high school friends and really miss them at times, but I have came to realise it was better for my growth and health to cut them out (they could be quite homophobic at times and frequently tried to pressure me into doing things). If you value the friendships, maybe it might be helpful if you do reach out to them, in case they could be feeling the same way? I know this is very hard to do with someone you're not the closest to, however. 

Perhaps it might help to break out of your comfort zone and try new things. I apologise if I take this wrong, but you seem to be set on the way things are going at the moment, which is why you could be feeling trapped? Perhaps you could try uploading some of your makeup styles on social media, if you haven't already, or even start a YouTube channel? Travelling is also a very, very good idea as it helps you find some of the beauty of the world you could have only imagined, and really helps develop a sense of growth and maturity. Volunteering for something your passionate in could also be helpful, or maybe you could join a group in your area for something your interested in? Smiley Happy

Again, sorry for the long reply, haha. I want to completely emphasise what @Jane_Rose said, what your feeling is okay and human, and it doesn't mean you're not grateful for the things you have. Have you checked out @lokifish's post here on the Tough Times board? Brains are weird, and having these confusing feelings is a completely normal part of being human. Smiley Very Happy

Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hey,

Thank you for reaching out @Jane_Rose honestly means a lot. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. Sometimes it feels like I'm overreacting or it's all in my head but since I've read your reply I don't feel alone. I guess everything happens for a reason and in terms of friends if they are not putting the effort in as much as I am should I even try harder to contact them. In terms of makeup I used to post pics and vids, I should probably get back to it. I am in fact traveling overseas on Monday so hey! it might end up clearing things up. I would love to get to know you more as well! 

Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hey,

Thank you for reaching out @Hozzles, means a lot knowing that I'm not alone. In terms of friends, my best friends make an effort but my other friends seem to have moved on. I kind of gave up after being turned down by some last minute. Felt like they didn't want to catch up in the first place. But hey! I know that I now have genuine people around me. In terms of makeup, I should start uploading again. I guess I felt discouraged because of the way I was feeling. I'm actually traveling soon, the coming Monday to be exact! I think this might be the breath of fresh I needed. You did not offend me in any way, thank you for your input Smiley Very Happy 

Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Hey! @Hozzles @Jane_Rose @Jess1-RO  I just want to thank you all for reaching out and taking the time to read through a long message (sorry!) but also taking the time to respond back to me with your input. With all this input I received, I feel even more confident about what I should really be doing in terms of taking steps towards a positive lifestyle (well kind of, baby steps right?!). Thank you all again for all your replies filled with encouragement!! 

Re: Getting things off my chest (if you want you can get something off your chest as well :D )

Any time @xo_aki Smiley Happy There are always members of the community around to chat through anything with you Heart

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