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Has Anybody Questioned There Sexuality Before?

All my life I have been attracted to men but everytime I was in a relationship with them it never seemed to work out. But as time continued on I started to feel attracted to women but never did anything about it because I was afraid what people might think and I kept talking my way out of it cause I felt like it was just a faze, but occasionally when I look at another women I can't stop staring it's gives me good vibes it sometimes feels right. I honestly don't know what to do it's so confusing. 

Can canybody give me some advice I don't care if it's negative I just want simple Honesty. 

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Re: Has Anybody Questioned There Sexuality Before?

Hi @Katora25 

 

Do you think you'd like to be in a relationship with a woman in that way?

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Re: Has Anybody Questioned There Sexuality Before?

Hey @Katora25, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing. What you have mentioned is quite a normal and common experience for anyone who is figuring out their sexuality. It can be difficult and confusing to figure out but you can take your time, there is no rush! It is really great that you are looking to worry less about what other people think in order to be true to yourself. It might be helpful to start reflecting on how you feel towards men and women. This could look like thinking about the types of questions that Tiny_leaf has asked or you could read some of the articles we have on sexuality. They also include videos that share personal experiences with sexuality which may helpful for you in understanding and exploring your own sexuality Heart

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Re: Has Anybody Questioned There Sexuality Before?

hey @Katora25 I think that its great you've brought this up because tons of people would be in the same boat and feeling quite unsure about themselves. Sexuality is a very hard thing to come to terms with sometimes, especially with the factor of 'what will people think?' constantly at the back of our minds.

 

It may be different for you but this is something I have struggled with myself. What helped the most was to explore my sexuality without judging myself. Of course this doesn't mean that you have to do anything more than what you're comfortable with. For example you could try going on dates with women and see how you feel. You may find that you are attracted to women physically but can't see yourself dating a woman in the long run, or you may find the idea of being with a woman to be very appealing and that its something you'd like to try. Theres no right or wrong way to feel! 

 

The great thing about sexuality is that it doesn't always have to be labelled if you don't want it to be, but if you do, then theres definitely something out there you'll be able to resonate with. Be patient with yourself because it can definitely be a confusing and tumultuous time. 

 

In short from personal experience these things helped me when I was confused about my sexuality:

- Try going on dates with women and see how you feel. Do you feel emotionally attracted to them? Would you like to go on second date? Do you feel physically attracted to them but can't see yourself with them as a partner? 

 

-Try not to compare your experiences with women with your experiences with men and try to focus more on how you feel. 

 

- Talk to people who have been in the same boat (if possible).

 

- Try not to judge yourself and be patient as its not always easy figuring out your sexuality and try to keep the mindset that sexuality is fluid and there is no right or wrong way to feel.

 

I hope this helps! 

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Re: Has Anybody Questioned There Sexuality Before?

Hi @Katora25 !  This was exactly the chat I was looking for!  I'm questioning right now, and I don't really know what to think!  I'm unsure and pretty much just floundering...  I'm not sure what to do

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Re: Has Anybody Questioned There Sexuality Before?

Hey @Katora25 and @Ani_Faeth ! I've been in that same boat - been questioning my sexuality for a few years now but have finally realised and semi come to terms with that I am gay (yay)! I found Qlife really helped me (https://qlife.org.au/), I talked to them over webchat about how confused and stressed/scared I was, and they really helped a lot - talking to someone who has been through the same thing as me (I think all staff identify with LGBTQIA+ and they're all really lovely and helpful!) was really great and helped me understand and come to terms with my own sexuality. I also discovered I have some internalized homophobia so if you're worried that might be the case I can send some stuff through about that too. If you want some positive LGBTQIA+ friendly videos/media representation etc would defs recommend Alexis and Lilian (youtube), Tales of the city (the new one, it's on netflix!) and imagine me and you (also netflix teehee, it's a movie) (: Hope this helps, here for you - you're definitely not alone! xx 

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Re: Has Anybody Questioned There Sexuality Before?

Hi @TawnyOwl !  

 

Thanks so much for these recommendations!!  It's great to have some people to talk to about this!