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Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

How you feeling today @scared01Heart

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

Afternoon @TOM-RO Heart

i slept for nearly 11 hrs so that was good. those sleepers though i think casue night mares as i had 2 of them last night but was too drowsy to stay awake so had a pretty good sleep. its helped how i was feeling but am still struggling alot. i mightve slept wrong as its aggrivated my neck causing headaches and headspins and super tender. so just resting today and taking pain releif. pops going out later on so might have a ncie hot bath and might even have a nap again as still really tired. 

still really conflicted and not knowing what to do and trying to work things out but i dont seem to be getting anywhere

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

Glad to hear you had 11 hours sleep especially considering how rough yesterday was for you Smiley Sad @scared01 sucks that the nightmares interrupted such a deep sleep- nightmares are the worst!! You mentioned feeling conflicted about not knowing what to do- sometimes when I’m not in a good head space I give myself permission to not have to make a decision right now and just focus on rest and recovery. It can help to just take a bit of the pressure off. A nice hot bath sounds wonderful- might help to with the aches and pains as well. Do you like adding bath bombs/bubbles/music etc to make it more relaxing? 

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Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

You're most welcome @scared01 Smiley Happy. I agree with @Erin-RO, I reckon the stigma surrounding mental health can affect people's compassion and empathy towards those who suffer from mental illness(es), so that could be a possible reason why your family believes that you're a disappointment/embarrassment to them. If you were to have any other illness (like the flu or some other infectious disease), it would be unlikely that they would say that you're a disappointment, right? It just wouldn't make any sense.

It sounds like you've shown a lot of self-awareness in knowing why you find it difficult to reach out for other supports and I applaud you for doing so Smiley Happy. Do you know if there is a way to prevent/stop you from shutting down?
_________________________________________________________
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

Hi @TOM-RO 

11 hrs was good on and off, ive realised though that my sleepers cause me nightmares so even though i sleep i still am awake on and off because of the nightmares. i tend to try not to decide anything when im in a bad state. last night and yesterday i didnt know how i was going to get through it but i did. it was so hard and i guess being able to be sleep due to the grogginess helped abit too. i didnt end up having a bath, i was going to today but again too busy and have commitments this afternoon so not a good time. i like to put radox in my bath. i find it helps to soothe muscles and the tension as well as having a nice smell too 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

@Esperanza67thank you, its hard doing it on my own. in a way i dont mind because i dont need to talk to anyone about it i cant just live a 'normal' life but then other times i wish i could jsut have someone who got it on the outside too. my chronic pain is internal so not visible either which makes it hard.if only people didnt judge each other for what we look like on the outside rather than whats on the inside. many times when i get to know others and they speak of themselves, theres always abit of drama and life experiences there. each person has a story and tells it in their own way. sorry that was abit of a tangent there. 

ive worked out how to control the anxiety more now i still get high anxiety but i can work on it more rather than letting myself panic more and making it worse. the depression and shutting down has become alot more stronger but i havent worked that part out as yet. i know quite abit of my unstable moods, shutting down, sh and si thoughts come with bpd and is a chronic thing but whats important is i can work on it and get better at it. 

sometimes reconnecting within myself helps like my artwork or going for a drive with music rather than shutting completely down helps. 

 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

@scared01 Yeah you do really well to get through some pretty intense rocky patches that's for sure. When you said you don't make big decisions when emtional I think that's great and it reminded me of the self-care plan you have that you're using (and continuing to work on). It would be good to re-evaluate amend/add to it more often. Like you said today, you know your moods and vulntabilities very well and are continuing to grow and learn about yourself. 

 

I like radox too becasue of the smell. I also use Epsom salts for muscles in baths but it doesn't have any smell!

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

Hey @scared01, I feel your struggles with chronic pain as well, I used to experience pretty bad cases of it every day. If you're interested in learning more about chronic pain, perhaps you should check out this YouTube video here? Yes, it's a lecture and is 75 mins long, but it's the most informative and helpful video I've ever come across about chronic pain! 

 

 

_________________________________________________________
Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

@TOM-ROim always updating my self care plan- i try to aim for every 2-3 months so i use those strategies first and see how well they work before trying to change them. i like to rotate my strategies if that makes sense so when one starts to wear down ill switch it up abit and so on

i have heard of epsom salts- have you thought about adding some essential oils to your bath with the salts? something like lavender might help to relax and soothe even more 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: Hey Everyone, i am back :)

thank you @Esperanza67 i might take a watch when ive got some more time and internet otherwise itll constantly keep loading. i know quite alot about my chronic pain and mostly because it cant be cured its preventative and management skills for them. sometimes it gets really out of hand but over the past yr ive been able to get more help for it and leanr more about what to do for it

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**