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How to say no?

Hey everyone, 

 

A lot of my friends like going out A LOT and I just can't really afford to do that too much with my limited finances and limited time with uni and work. So I was wondering how I can repeatedly say no to my friends when they ask me to come out? And I mean like when they ask me at least once or twice every single week? I limit myself to going out once or twice every month, but I feel like everytime I tell my friends no they either get annoyed at me, or think I am really lame or that I don't like hanging out with them. I'm worried that if I keep saying no they will stop inviting me to things, so when I actually have the money and time I won't have anything to do with it!

 

What should I do? How can I decline their invitations respectfully without them thinking I just don't like hanging out with them? 

 

Any suggestions would be appreciated Smiley Very Happy 

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Re: How to say no?

Hey, @Gabi ! A good question!

 

I was thinking the same thing only a minute ago. I've not long been back from coffee with my folks at a cafe around the corner where a bunch of workers were having their lunch. I thought to myself then, 'Do they do this every day?! It must be expensive!' Then I thought, 'How, if you wanted to save a bit of money and bring lunch from home, could you do so in a way that didn't isolate you from the rest of the group?'  My advice: propose an alternative. Like, rather than going out for dinner somewhere, suggest that your friends come around for dinner at your place? Or get a movie out and ask them over? Much less expensive and still means that you get to see each other...

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Re: How to say no?

Hey Gabi,

 

I also have this problem sometimes ><" But I believe that friends/colleagues will understand that it can dig into your bank account quite a bit when it comes to spending money while socialising. Making alternative suggestions can help so that you're not going bankrupt! There could be that you may feel that you're 'missing out' if you say no - but I think that by suggesting free things to do would make it more appealing to everyone else (because who doesn't like free stuff?). 

___________________________________________________
Stay excellent
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Re: How to say no?

I love baking marathons with friends. Basically, your cooking meals and catching up at the same time+ you get to keep portions of everything and it saves time and money! Smiley Happy 4 ingredients is another fantastic resource: all recipes are fast, fresh and healthy and iuse whatever food you have available..... The website has heaps of cool recipes too....
Have Fun! Smiley Happy
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Re: How to say no?

Hey @Gabi ,

The amount of times I have been in this situation is slightly ridiculous!

First of all, I used to have a "friend" who would pressure me into going out with her all the time by saying things like "you're a shit friend" if I didnt want to go, whom I am (not surprisingly) no longer friends with! I was working around 10 hours a week compared to her 38 hours, and really couldn't afford it and quickly realised she was no friend of mine.

HOWEVER, if your friends simply want you to join them but aren't pressuring you like this particular girl, I suggest you just tell them the truth. Admitting that you're short on cash is much more understandable than constant excuses which will eventually lead your friends to believe you are not a real friend. Or, you could tell them that you're trying to save your money (which I pressume you are) which is both believable and very mature.

Finally, do you have nighclubs in your town that offer free entry to uni students? If so, you could go there and offer to be designated driver for them - a free night out PLUS some very happy friends!

Hope this helps.

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Re: How to say no?

Hey @Gabi 

I reckon one of the hardest things about being a universtiy student is having friends who work full time and can afford to go out all the time or buy new clothes etc. And sometimes no matter how you try and "justfiy" your way out of a dinner or night out they just think your being rude Smiley Sad . But i found that by being fully open with them about why i couldnt go out all the time was a really good way to help them see my point of view. 

 

I usually just say "sorry guys i havent had a lot of work lately i would be happy to drive instead" or orgnaise something for a time when you know you have a bit of money spare.

Thats just my intial thoughts, it is really hard though!