Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

I did hurt my boyfriend..

Hello my name is Isabelle,


21 years old, studying computer science. I am in couple with my military boyfriend since 5 years. All is great basically even if I struggle to get some time with him To fix that (due to our owned activities), we did decide to make some sport together few month before the virus… What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa or a dance sport (im a ballerina and practice since im 8 and i do yoga also) but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport… So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let’s try it…

Finally, after 5 lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the “fight part” in the end of the lesson. With the virus, we can’t go anymore, so a few days ago, he asked me to practice at home. We used a mat for safety and worked on the moves as in training. After one hour he challenged me in a friendly match, like for the normal session “if I dare” and he’ll show me “who’s the boss, it’s not like dancing or yoga things…”.

It was the first time we have a match together. Well, sport has always take a big part in my life but he outweight me, he is so much taller and he is an ex military so im not too much confident.. but ok let’s try it!

We hang each other kimono and turn around. I quickly noticed the previous exercices tired him more than me. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right, I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I pin him and count to 5 (we need to pin the opponent 5 sec to win). his face was all red and while he get up. I don’t know wich one of us wer the mroe surprised. I can’t hide myself from smiling.

Now he seems really focus and we start again. I still smile while he seems really serious. I pull his kimono again and got him the exact same way. On the ground I quickly wrapped my arms around his head and I block his legs with my feet. He struggle but I had a good grip so i count to 5 and win… Before I release himI whisper on his ear “ouch your ballerina got you badly this time, where is the tough soldier now?” and I kissed him in his cheek. I get up (and dance a bit to celebrate i confess) and prepare for the 3rd round but he said he didnt want anymore

Later I struggled not to have a strange silence that can sometimes happen. He says nothing and I make a monologue about housework. It seems that he doesn’t want to do judo anymore. I laugh a bit at first, asking him if it’s because I beat him, but he answers me aggressively that no, he just thinks it’s a waste of time.

I haven’t talked to him about it, but he looks different like he’s worried about something, like something is broken. I don’t know. He’s cold with me, never laughs, and seems even a bit depressed.

I didn’t want to hurt him, and now I don’t know how I can fix things. Atmosphere is now complicated..


Re: I did hurt my boyfriend..

Hi @isabelle49, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing that. It sounds like you are really in tune with your partner. It might be helpful to chat to him about what happened to try and understand where he is at with all of this. Your partner might also need a little bit of time and/or space to process what has happened.

We have sent you an email, so please have a look at your inbox Smiley Happy

Re: I did hurt my boyfriend..



thanks for your answer but I didn't receive anything


Re: I did hurt my boyfriend..

Hey @isabelle49 


It was sent to the email you signed up with so I'm not sure why you haven't received it. Maybe it went into your junk/spam mailbox.


Anyway, the email said that because we are an Australian-based service, we don't allow youth from overseas to have a ReachOut account. We have this written in our community guidelines which are listed here. We do this for a number of reasons - one of them being that we don't know enough about the services in your country and can't support you as best as a service in your country could. It appears that you are an international user, so unfortunately we will have to delete your account. We will do this within the next couple of hours. Just so you know, you are still welcome to visit our website and read our articles as a guest. You can also read existing discussion threads which you may find helpful. 


We have a list of services here which you may find useful. We've created this list for all international users, so you might just need to scroll to the country that applies to you.


Take care Heart