I don't have to, I GET to

[letitgo]

So one of my favourite singers/writers/people did a podcast recently and she said something I really connected with. She has started to reframe her thoughts by noticing whenever she thinks she has to do something and changes it to think that she gets to do that thing. It shifts her perspective from anger/negativity to gratitude/positivity.

e.g. Instead of "I have to go to work today."

I might think, "I GET to go to work today."

Is there anything you guys think you might be able to reframe like that? Feel free to share your thoughts!

[JanaG]

Hey @letitgo 

This is often a part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). One of the goals is to notice when we have an unhelpful thought and then change it to something more helpful. This is seen in the example you provided. There are several different types of unhelpful thoughts that are categorised in CBT. If this is something you would like to read up about, there is a link below. 

One of my unhelpful thoughts that I have learned to notice and replace is that I 'should' do something. I replace this with: 'It would be good to,' 'I would like to,' 'It would be better to,' etc. Very similar to your example. 

Unhelpful thinking styles:

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/unhelpful.htm

[Bree-RO]

@letitgo Such a good thread, thank you for starting this! Can I ask who the singer/writer is?

That's such a great mind tool you have shared with us. I love this quote by hiker Karl Williams - "No one is 100% positive all the time and the key to success lies not in avoiding negative thoughts, but in what action you take in those negative moments. "

[Ben-RO]

Whoa what a good thread @letitgo!

I have a really busy day full of things i need to do and I don't think i'll get it all done.

I have a day full of things that are hard work but that I also care about and love doing, it's going to be okay if i don't do everything today

[peppermintpeony]

That's a great attitude to have! I've tried it out once or twice, and found it to be helpful, but promptly forgot all about it. I'll have to keep it in mind. Thinking, "I get to go to work!" makes me feel so much lighter.

[letitgo]

Thanks @JanaG! I've actually taken part in a form of CBT called Dialectical Behavioural Therapy before and it was mentioned in there as well. Definitely a very interesting concept.

@Bree-RO Thanks for joining the conversation! Sure, the singer/songwriter goes by the name of Bearcat. She's Renee Yohe and her story formed the basis of a not for profit movement around mental health, called To Write Love On Her Arms. I'm a huge fan!  

[letitgo]

Thank you @Ben-RO!

I hope you were able to accomplish most, if not all, of the things you had to do.

[May_]

@letitgo thank you so much for this! I need this reminder everyday! I think I might write it on a post it note and put it on my bedside table :')

As someone who is unemployed it really annoys me when people say "ugh I don't want to go to work" - although I understand why they say it and I have said the same thing before. But it is a privilege to have a job and people shouldn't take that for granted! Similarly it is a privilege to go to university or school so we should be more grateful for those things

Me today: ugh I have so many annoying things that I have to do and I just want to watch netflix because there's no difinitive due date so I could get away with it...and I have to get up at 6am

Reframed: I want to get these tasks done to I can feel good about working hard and then get to take a relaxing break. I am lucky that tomorrow I get to attend a seminar with a friend from uni  

[missep]

Hi @letitgo!
Thank you so much for posting this!

I've never really thought of thinking about things this way. I believe it will really help to motivate me (especially since I've been working so much!). I'm going to try this tomorrow. 

[Birdeye]

Wow @letitgo, it's amazing how different that little word change makes it.

It's completely okay at times to go with the more negative 'have to' version, but it's such a good point for most of the time.

Now that you've mentioned it, I get to work on this. And I'm really happy about that.