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I don't know how...


So i have a crush on this girl (I am a girl) and she told me she liked me back recently. All our friends know (we are in the same group) and I don't know how to talk to her again to tell her that I don't want to be just friends anymore, and that I want something more. Except everytime I try to talk to her, I chicken out and I don't know how. Also, its gotten to the point where I don't want to be with her alone cause I never know what to say. Any advice? 

Re: I don't know how...


I'm not hugely experianced but what you could try is drafting what you want to say before you do so that you dont have to think it up on the spot. if you and your crush hang out alot you could try saying 'hey could i talk to you for a second over here?' and do your best to explain how you feel. above all, do what you feel is right.

i really hope all goes well! 

Re: I don't know how...


I know exactly how you feel, the same thing happened to me recently. Whenever I felt like I wasn't sure what to say, I asked things about her. eg. How was your day, what kinda movies do you like. Just little stuff like that. Games like truth or dare and twenty questions are also good ways to fill in awkward silences.


I know how it feels though to be too scared to ask someone out, and I was really lucky that my crush asked me out. Just act natural (I know it can be hard), and either she'll ask you out or you'll get the courage to ask her out. You could even do something like asking her to come and watch a movie with you, and hopefully she'll get the hint that you're asking her out on a date, without you outright having to say it. 


Anyway, I hope it goes well for you, and I'm sure that everything will go well.  I hope I helped Smiley Happy



Re: I don't know how...

Hi @veve!
Sometimes the more time you spend with someone, the more comfortable you feel with them! 
From personal experience, as soon as I knew I liked someone I would go from super bubbly to super shy but with each time that we would hang out, it would get easier and I felt more comfortable! 

Sometimes it's all about 'the moment' as well, sometimes when you're talking to someone you just instinctively know that it's perfect timing to tell them something! 

Re: I don't know how...

@veve It can be reeaally really hard to work up the courage to talk to someone you like.


I agree with @Mortimer - try to have some questions in mind that you can ask her next time you talk Smiley Happy and if you have any similar interests, a personal joke or a memory that you both share that is always good to bring up to try and build a connection.


Do you feel less shy when a friend is with you rather than when it is just you and her? If so maybe you could talk to a particular friend about how you are feeling and ask if they will help you strike up a conversation?

Re: I don't know how...

Hey @veve!


I don't have much experience in this area, but I sometimes struggle talking to people in general.


Do you and your crush have any shared interests that you could talk about? e.g. If you like Harry Potter, you could ask questions like what memory she would use to summon a Patronus, or what Hogwarts House she would be in etc.

Also I think @ma30n made a good suggestion about possibly writing down the things you might want to say in advance. It might help you talk to her, or it might just help you feel better to have your feelings out on paper.


Hope it all goes well! 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //

Re: I don't know how...

Be confident in your lack of confidence - that's what I do. 


I think just get to know her more, and in terms of asking to be more than friends... I like letters. They're romantic and special, because no one really writes letters anymore. I've asked someone out via letter ("will you be my girlfriend please circle yes/no") and again, its so cheesy and cliche, but certainly better than worry about saying something wrong, stuttering, all that. Once its in the mail, its out of your hands. 


Personally, I think it's also important you clarify your feelings. Dropping hints is fine to a point, but knowing where you stand with someone is important, and its a little awkwardness now that can save a lot of awkwardness later. 


Let us know how you go!

Re: I don't know how...

Hi @veve!

Just wanted to check in on you and see how the situation was going?