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I don't know what to do

I'm 15 and I've just finished Grade 10 at my school, and I'm beginning to feel as though my friends don't care about me or don't like me. I'm a unique person and am not like the rest of them. I've recently moved to this school, and just finished my 2nd year, and recently I've just been feeling like they don't care about me. Tonight there was a farewell party for one of the people in our group, and it's all over Snapchat and Facebook, yet I wasn't invited, they always go out on weekends places like the cinemas but I'm also never invited. I've never been the most popular person, I had no friends the entire grade 8 and suffered from Depression the entire year (which is why I moved). There are some people in the group that I know don't like me, such as this one guy who refers to me as 'man tits'. Any advice on what I should do, I just feel helpless. 

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Re: I don't know what to do

Hi @lmarsden and welcome to RO!

That sounds really tough and moving schools is already a big step. Is there a school counsellor, teacher or one friend that maybe you could speak to about this? 

 

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Re: I don't know what to do

Moving schools wasn't too much of a problem as i've been here for 2 years now, and now that school is finished for a year there isnt really anyone I can talk to, and im too scared to talk to one of my friends about it
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Re: I don't know what to do

That's understandable @lmarsden. Could you raise this issue with your parents/guardians? 

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Re: I don't know what to do

I don't really have a close relationship with either of my parents, as they are separated and I live with mum, but she works a lot and I barely see her (less than 1 hour a day)
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Re: I don't know what to do

I'm sorry to hear that.
Well I can definitely say that RO are here to help and whilst I may not be all that helpful, i'm sure there will be some great responses.

I have personally experienced this sort of thing although it didn't bother me too much. Whilst it can be upsetting to not have even been invited, I would often find better or more useful things to do anyway. So for me, that was spring cleaning at home or doing a project or spending time with my pets.

I would also see all of the photos and posts on social media, but wouldn't let it worry me, knowing that I have done something much more productive.

This train of thought may not work for you, but perhaps if you can, try and ignore the social media etc.
I would encourage you to maybe speak to one of your friends as they may not even be aware of the situation. I know it can be scary, but you may get some closure or even solve some of the issues. Let them know that you feel left out - many people are genuinely blind to other's feelings and need to be told.

Could you perhaps organise a trip to the movies where you invite people?
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Re: I don't know what to do

Hey @lmarsden, welcome Smiley Happy

 

Sounds like you're in a pretty lonely space at the moment, and that can be pretty tough in highschool. Sometimes, being different can be dificult when you're in highschool, and there can be a lot of pressure to act a certain way or look a certain way. Having depression can just complicate that entire situation and make school really hard to deal with.

 

It seems like you know that you being different isn't a bad thing, and that's great! Resisting the pressure to be someone else to fit in is hard, and the fact that you accept your uniqueness is amazing.

 

You mentioned that you have a friend, whom you are scared of talking to about what you're going through - what exactly worries you about it? Like @Alison5 said, it might be helpful if they aren't aware of what's going on. And of course, you can always hang out here at the forums - we even have an intros thread!

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Re: I don't know what to do

that sounds really tough, @lmarsden, I remember feeling like that when I was in high school too. I was really unique and people didn't really actively dislike me - i was just left alone a lot. However, I did have a few good, close friends that helped - they were people who didn't really fit in with the main group either! If you can, maybe work on being close to one or two people; quality over quantity and that. 

 

If not, don't worry too much!! It seems like high school is everything now, but this is just one little bit of your life! Making friends in high school is so hard because youve only got this small group of people you HAVE to see all day, every day. I, personally, barely talk to anyone from my high school - even people i once swore were my best friends and would always be together. I left high school, went to uni, started raving, and met people who had similar interests and ideals and were unique like me ^^

 

actually thats another thing! have you tried doing other extracurricular activities and making friends outside of school? a sports team is a good place to start, and some places have youth centres that put stuff on. There are a lot of online communities that do meetups too. I know the cosplay online community is very strong ^^ 

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Re: I don't know what to do

How have you been going @lmarsden ?

Feeling like your friends don't like you or invite you anywhere can seriously hurt. I have had and still do have experiences where it can be hard to understand where your friendship stands. I personally find that I can focus on the negative things my friends do and forget the positive. Is there anything (even something small) positive your friends have done for you? Is there something you think you'd like to do in this situation? What would you like to happen?

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Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.
– Henry Ford
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Re: I don't know what to do

That's just high school really, I had friends in primary school. However when I started high school I had no one, my friends from primary school ditched me and the guys harassed me most days. My mum never let me move schools so I was stuck at the same school since grade 8. In grade 10 my grades went from A's to D's I just couldn't focus when I'd been left out of everything and was ignored when I asked for help. So I just gave up