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I’m not sure where to go from here.

I go to an all girls school and last year around the beginning of our second school term, i noticed one of the girls in my classes frequently making eye contact with me throughout the day, every day a week. i didn’t think much of it at first but eventually i realised how this was happening all the time. over the course of many months i realised how beautiful she was and just how much i now really care about her. there was a time at school camp when i had previously dm’d her to make sure she was okay after formal because she left early that i apologies for. i didn’t want to seem weird and she just said “what!!! don’t say sorry !!” and pretended to jokingly kick me. she was also having issues with her now ex boyfriend and i say with her and we talked about it. i let her borrow my nike slides and offered to go get them for her and she insisted she came with me even though it was a short walk. that night we went on a ghost tour on the island and i noticed how sad she looked and how her friends kept leaving her behind. there was a time where we both looked out at the city and she looked like she wanted to say something- maybe i wanted to say something. i eventually invited her to walk with me and we talked for a bit together. at the end of the tour we stood close next to eachother in silence just staring up at the large cliff ahead of us. it was so easy. she’s so perfect and she was literally walking next to me and talking to me. i even invited her to sneak out with me to go see the city skyline at 12:30am and she accepted with a grin but she fell asleep which is okay. the next day when we made eye contact she paused and then gave me the biggest warmest smile. i think my heart melted. but after that nothing else really happened. this year she’s been quite sad and tired and i can never find the right words to speak with her. we do look at eachother still and i find myself hanging around her locker just to see her. she’s a popular girl in my year but she’s a bit detached from the rest, i don’t know if she’s bi or not but god it kills me knowing how i’ll never be able to tell her how i feel. it’s breaking me apart every night, i think about her and how i’m just a stupid idiot who can’t get over the most beautiful girl in the world. any advice, tips or insight? thank you.


Re: I’m not sure where to go from here.

Aw @sepiidaesa it sounds like you really care about this girl. I totally understand why you'd be thinking about her every night and just for the record, I don't think that makes you a stupid idiot! 


I can also hear that you are really caring and have noticed that she has been sad this year. Maybe she would appreciate you keeping her company like you did on the night of the ghost tour. It can be super nerve wracking to make conversation, so I understand why it would be hard. 


We actually had a chat here about meeting new people and why it can be hard but also some tips on how to work through it. Give it a read if you think that might be helpful Heart 


Also, big welcome to the forums and thanks for making your first post! 


Re: I’m not sure where to go from here.

Hey @sepiidaesa ! Welcome to RO, thank you so much for posting!

That sounds like a really complicated situation with some heavy feelings, but you don't sound stupid to me at all, even if you feel like itHeart It can be so hard trying to figure out where other people are emotionally, particularly if you have feelings for them!


I really feel for you when it comes to feeling stuck with your emotions for your friend, you mentioned that you could never tell her how you feel. Is that because of how you feel for her in particular or mentioning that you like girls to her in general?

Do you think it could be helpful to reach out to her and express the worries you've had for her? Even messaging her that you've noticed she's been a bit quiet? I know it's a bit hard to bring things up face to face sometimes Smiley Sad 

Other people on RO might have more practical advice than me, what does everyone else think? Smiley Very Happy 

Would love to hear how you're doing @sepiidaesa ! xx Sending lots of virtual hugs

We had a live chat on Accessing Mental Health Support Online! Smiley Very Happy Check it out here! Heart

Re: I’m not sure where to go from here.

hey thanks for the advice, i have messaged her one time asking if she was okay after our school formal because she looked quite sad throughout the event and she responded saying everything was fine, we made conversation and i was so nervous but happy to hear from her.


ive never spoken to her about myself much, i guess we don’t really know much about eachother. it’s just really difficult to all of a sudden start talking to her especially when we never really have. 


i think tomorrow i’m gonna try to talk to her or atleast ask if she’s okay. thank you for supporting me it means a lot Smiley Happy


Re: I’m not sure where to go from here.

thank you for your response Smiley Happy


im glad i don’t look like an idiot, i just really care about her. she means a lot to me even though technically speaking we haven’t been through much together. i’m gonna try speak to her tomorrow if i get the courage.


i just want her to be happy.


i wonder if i make her uncomfortable by looking at her, but she looks at me sometimes without me looking too? is she just shy or does she maybe want me to stop, or does she even possibly have an interest in me? this happens everyday by the way, we always make eye contact and then we both look away and smile or i will look sad or nervous.

Re: I’m not sure where to go from here.

Hey @sepiidaesa 


I'm our messages helped you to feel a bit better about the situation. I think when you have feelings for someone it is totally normal to feel nervous around each other! 


I'd love to hear how you go with making conversation Heart