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I really like my best friend

Let me tell you a lil bit of a back story. So lets call my best friend Cindy (this isnt her real name). 

So i met Cindy at the start of the year and i had a small crush on her, but from the start i knew things wernt going to work out so i "got over" her. But in reality, these feelings didnt go away. They got stronger and stronger. throughout the year cindy and i bonded like crazy and we got closer and closer, and now shes probably my closest girl friend that i have. I dont think she knows how i feel about her, but she knows that like i care about her really much.

And to complicate the story even more theres another girl, lets call her Nat (again not her real name). So one of my guy friends had introduced me to Nat, and we got along really well, I would say i have feelings for her, but like i also have feelings for best friend. I had lowkey hoped that the more i talked to nat my feelings for cindy would go away, but this didnt really happen. I also dont want to go into a relationship with Nat as she doesnt know i like cindy, and i feel that it would be unfair on Nat if i do go into a relationship with her as im hiding a pretty big thing from her. 


So now im a confused boi, who has no idea what to do. pls help me ://

Re: I really like my best friend

Hey @jus_another_guy 


Thanks for your post.  It sounds like a complicated situation for you.  It must be confusing to have these feelings.  Have you tried speaking to another friend about it?  Another option is to try Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.  They are open 24/7 and have trained counsellors.  Sometimes just talking about this with something can help provide some clarity for you.


Hope you're having a nice Saturday evening Smiley Happy

Re: I really like my best friend

Howdy @jus_another_guy
These feelings are very complicated, but as you said your friend "Cindy" is the girl you like. I know telling someone how you feel can be daunting, but talking to people and making a plan to tell Cindy how you feel is a good start.

Sometimes things won't go to plan, but it's best to be forthright. If this is about choosing, just go with your heart and not your head. It's corny I know l, but it works, and if Nat understands you can stay friends with her.

Have a good night ^_^

Re: I really like my best friend

Thanks @LizO1997  for replying!

I understand what you are trying to say but I feel that if I tell Cindy how I really feel our friendship will fall apart, and that's the last thing i want.

Re: I really like my best friend

All good @jus_another_guy I understand the feeling, liking a friend is complicated and has the potential to be messy. But I was in the same boat as you, I told my friend, let's call him Ben, that I had feelings for him. Now we are still friends, and we both see potential, but every situation is different.

The fear of losing a friend is scary, but in all honesty if you don't tell her it'll weigh you down. Feelings do change over time, but if you have liked her for a long time it's good to lay all cards on the table.

Re: I really like my best friend

Hey @jus_another_guy Smiley Happy


Thanks for talking about what's happening for you at the moment. I agree this is quite a complicated situation. I think it's great that you are aware that it isn't always the best idea to start a relationship when you're hiding things, and that you care about being fair to Nat Smiley Happy


Ultimately you are the one to decide what is best for you in this situation. I agree that telling Cindy might complicate things if she doesn't feel the same way, but I would suggest that if you guys are really good friends (which is seems like you are), it doesn't necessarily mean the friendship would be over. Do you think it's likely that if she doesn't feel the same way, that she will want to end the friendship?