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I thought they were my friend....?

So I know this is a pretty common thing, especially among teenage girls like myself, but I had a massive falling out with a girl who I considered a friend recently. Anyone want to chat about their friendship experiences etc??

Re: I thought they were my friend....?

Hey @Tink28 -  sorry to hear this - it's really rough falling out with someone so close to you  Smiley Sad

I think chatting about friendship experiences is a great idea.. as you've said - friendship issues such as this are experienced by a lot of us, (if not all) - but they're still really difficult to navigate. 

How are you coping? What's helping?


I'll tag a few others too - @annabethxchase @sweet_baking @Bee @safari93 @scared01 @mrmusic @litgym

I'm leaving ReachOut on the 5th of June Smiley Sad Say goodbye here

Re: I thought they were my friend....?

hey @Tink28

sorry to hear about this friendship issue. i feel youHeart i recently had a falling out with all my friends Smiley Sad its tough, do you have other friends you can hangout and talk about this with them ? i guess my tip is, this is life, friendship groups don’t stay the same forever. who you considered your best friend you may end up not friends unfortunately Smiley Sad


how have you been coping ? Heart

Re: I thought they were my friend....?

Hey @Tink28,

It's definitely super hard having to cope with friendship 'break ups' Smiley Sad

Last year I was in a super toxic friendship with these girls - all they would do was gossip about people, even if that person was sitting next to them.

It got to the point where they were calling me this and that while I was sitting beside them and they would completely ignore me. This hurt me so much because I was in an especially bad place and some close family members were really unwell. I was suffering enough and not having my 'friends' by my side made life seem virtually impossible. I would come to school bawling my eyes out because I was so scared of them. 

Eventually, Over a period of about 4-5 months I realized it was toxic and these people weren't worthy enough to be considered my friends.


I completely cut them off but I do think in some cases they saying 'Keep your fiends close and enemies closer' really applies, it is sometimes better to have them semi-friends then to have them enemies. I found some people to sit with - not necessarily 'friends' but just people that were nice and this year I've found some really nice girls Smiley Happy


I think in high school friendship groups really shift and some people who you thought were great turn out to be not-so great. It's amazing what happens when people show there 'true colours' and it really surprised me that some people were capable of being so mean. Unfortunately, friendship fights are inevitable Smiley Sad


Let us know how you are doing, here for you Heart

Re: I thought they were my friend....?

@Tink28 I can see that you've only signed up recently - WELCOME TO RO! Smiley Very Happy

I'm sorry to hear about the falling out with your friend. Like others I've had many falling outs with friends.
It can be pretty hard when this happens, especially if they are a close friend.
I don't want to bombard you with any more questions so I will wait for your response Smiley Happy

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: I thought they were my friend....?

Hey @Tink28,


Fights with friends are really tough! Sorry you are going through that!


When I was in high school I had a fight with one of my best friends and our relationship never recovered. But I was able to make some new friends and they are still my friends today!

Friendships can change over time but I have learned that true friendships can last through anything.


Let us know how you are doing, we are here for you! 



Re: I thought they were my friend....?

Thank you all for the support Heart


The first week or so were really hard, but it's been just over a month now and I'm survivingSmiley Very Happy


I didn't really want to tell any of my other friends about what had happened because it would give it more power, so I told a few trusted friends, most of who go to a different school (I live in a small town, with another small town 30 mins away where I dance once a week)


It was hard at first because the girl in question was one of my only real friends in my grade, so I had to endure some awkwardness trying to reposition myself in classes, but ultimately it was alright. I had/have closer friends in the grade below mine at school, who I sit with at breaks. It was really hard because my friend and I didn't even speak to each other about why I was avoiding her- but she knew why, so most people were confused that we suddenly stopped talking and asked me questions I wasn't prepared to answer.


I haven't spoken to her since, though she has sent me messages over social media. Even if she were to apologise, I feel that what she did was unforgiveable.


However, today I celebrated my sixteenth birthday, and while it may get me in trouble, I invited only people I consider good friends who have  never gone behind my back. Overall, I had an amazing day surrounded by people who care about me, from two different towns and across 4 school grades. And there was no worrying about drama or anything similar. It was refreshing, and gave me a much needed lift of spirit to finish this year strong!


@gina-RO @dog_lover94 @Bee @annabethxchase @litgym

Re: I thought they were my friend....?

Hi @Tink28, sorry I'm a bit late in replying, but it sounds like you've taken some really positive steps and been very self-aware of what you want in a friend. Surrounding yourself with people that you consider are worth your time and effort, and who are reciprocal in communicating with you, is so important, so well done!

Belated happy 16th birthday as well! At such a special occasion, it really should be spent with people that you love and cherish, so really glad to hear you felt so strong and uplifted by it Smiley Happy


It does sound like your former friend is trying to reach out to you now, and I completely understand it's your call whether you wish to respond to her or not. But as @annabethxchase said, high school relationships can be quite dynamic so sometimes it might be worth having an honest conversation about the situation, even if it is ultimately to put something to rest. I only say this because very recently, I went through a situation with one of my friends, who was being very distant and rude, and then after a talk, we were actually able to somewhat be friends again, even if not as close as before. Just a thought, but if you'd rather just move on, I completely can relate to that too <3 

Re: I thought they were my friend....?

Hey @Tink28


Happy birthday!!

It's great that you were able to spend it with just your close friends. It seems like you have formed some other strong friendships with people you can count on. Smiley Happy


It can be hard to talk about when you are fighting with a friend (particularly if you feel they betrayed your trust), but I think it will eventually blow over and people will stop asking you questions when they realise you don't want to talk about it.