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Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

I met up with a guy I'd been talking to for a while. I ended up sleeping with him, I'm 17. I've been seeing him for a few months. Is it legal for me to meet him for sex?

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

Hi Hicks,

 

Great question! The laws around age of consent differ between states in Australia so it's understandable this would be confusing, or even worrying, for you. Although each state has a set age of consent, some states also have legislation that differs if someone has a supervisory role or 'special care' relationship with someone who is aged 16 or 17. Does that make sense? You can read a better explanation and the laws for each state here.

 

Of course, consent itself is also vital and you should always practice safe sex – no excuses!

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

He doesn't have a supervisory role over me, I'm from Queensland. But are their laws about him taking my virginity because he's over 18? My parents have never met him and I have sex with him quite often.

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

Hi Hicks, well that's a good start.

 

There isn't a law about virginity but there is for age of consent – when a person is considered capable to give consent to sexual acts. Check the link above to the state laws for the one/s that apply to Queensland.

 

Are you concerned about seeing him or that your parents won't approve of the relationship?

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

I'm just concerned if it's legal

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

Hi @Hicks, if legality is your worry definitely have a look at the link @Kit provided, it will be able to tell you all the information surrounding the age of consent for Queensland. Also agree that you need to remember to always practice safe sex! 

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

This post discusses themes around domestic violence. If at anytime, you feel distressed, overwhelmed or in need of someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

 

Hi @Hicks,

 

I understand you've been seeing him for a few months, but I would seriously think about your relationship. I'm trying not to sound too moralising (sorry if I do) but age gaps like that, where you are *technically* a child and he an adult, at different stages of experience, create a power imbalance. This is why people will often look down on large age gaps, because the older person is more powerful and can create a toxic, and potentially abusive relationship.

 

I can understand, though. I say this as when I was 17 I got in a relationship with a girl who was 21 and turned 22 when I was with her. She was extremely abusive and manipulative, and often invalidated me and what I had to say because I was 'too young' and would constantly hold it over my head. At the time I was like, nah I know better I can do what I want and 4-5 years isnt that much, but the power imbalance still remains. I'm still affected by that relationship, and I don't want anyone else to go through that. I'm not implying this boy is bad or abusive - I'm just saying to think about it, and think about why he is dating someone underage. 

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

Hey @ivory, I've just had to edit you post as it is against community guidelines to post professional advice of any kind.

 


 

Age gap isn't such a big deal in itself, @Hicks. It really just comes down to the individual and whether they view you as their equal or not. If you are concerned about this, then please read our fact sheets on managing pressures in relationships and signs of abusive relationships


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

Hey @Hicks!

 

I have noticed it has been a little while since you have commented on this Thread.

 

I just wanted to check in and make sure that you were able to get the information you needed from @Kit's post?

 

I think it is really great to see that you are checking in on the legal requirements, this is always an important part of relationships!

 

If you have any more questions please let us know. Smiley Happy

Re: Is It OK to see a 22 year old?

Hi @Hicks

just wanted to check in on you and see how you were feeling about the situation now? 

We're here if you need to talk!