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Love triangle... I need advice. I love my bestfriend.

I had never had a bestfriend before untill this year but, now i like her more than a friend. I am also a girl. Recently she started dating a guy in our friend group and i was the one who got them together so that makes me feel like an idiot. I need advice. I have no idea what to do, it never effected me untill a few weeks ago when she started dating. Now in school i get real upset and have to lave classes. I have depression and high anxiety isseus so that doesnt help the situation. Me and her dont act like just bestfriends, we cuddle, have pet names for eachother, kiss eachother on the cheek, hold hands and tell eachother we love eachother. I dont see how she hasnt noticed my feelings. She has said before that she would never date me, though we are both pansexuals she would never have feelings like that towards me. Her and I sing and hold hands and i sing to her song that explain the situation exactly but she doesnt realise. I dont want her to knowbecause i dont want to ruin mine and her friendship but, my feelings for her are only getting stronger and im not sure how to deal with this. If you have any advice, i would love your help.
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Re: Love triangle... I need advice. I love my bestfriend.

Hey @winter99 

 

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation right now where if you tell your friend it could ruin your friendship and if you dont tell her then you will be constantly upset and this wont help with depression and anxiety so that will affect you negatively. I can hear that your relationship with her is very close and you both care about each other. 

 

I wouldnt even know what to do myself but you need to do what you feel is best for you, the question you should ask yourself is do you want a friendship or do you want a relationship? If you want a friendship then saying something could really ruin that for you and if you want a relationship then you have to be honest with her and hope for the best but if she has said she will not date you then that makes it difficult to determine whether she wants a relationship as well. 

 

What do you feel is the best thing for you right now? 

 

Let us know how you go 

 

Take care Smiley Happy 

_________________________________________________
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
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Re: Love triangle... I need advice. I love my bestfriend.

Hey @winter99 , how are you going with this? Did you make any decisions about what to do?

 

I've had a couple of occasions in the past where I didn't know how to express how important someone was to me without getting into a relationship with them. Really I just had to acknowledge that being a good friend to them was all I had to do but instead I took things further than they should have and it turned out to be a mistake.

 

On the other hand, my closest friendship started as a relationship before I really knew her all that well — now we're super best friends (and still in a relationship). Relationships — whether friendships or romantic relationships — are funny little things.

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Re: Love triangle... I need advice. I love my bestfriend.


@winter99 wrote:
I had never had a bestfriend before untill this year but, now i like her more than a friend. I am also a girl. Recently she started dating a guy in our friend group and i was the one who got them together so that makes me feel like an idiot. I need advice. I have no idea what to do, it never effected me untill a few weeks ago when she started dating. Now in school i get real upset and have to lave classes. I have depression and high anxiety isseus so that doesnt help the situation. Me and her dont act like just bestfriends, we cuddle, have pet names for eachother, kiss eachother on the cheek, hold hands and tell eachother we love eachother. I dont see how she hasnt noticed my feelings. She has said before that she would never date me, though we are both pansexuals she would never have feelings like that towards me. Her and I sing and hold hands and i sing to her song that explain the situation exactly but she doesnt realise. I dont want her to knowbecause i dont want to ruin mine and her friendship but, my feelings for her are only getting stronger and im not sure how to deal with this. If you have any advice, i would love your help.

I think that the best thing you can do is try and ignore how you feel when she's around. Maybe one of these days she'll feel the same way about you, and maybe she'll want to date you then, but the important thing is that she doesn't right now.

 

This doesn't mean don't talk about it at all, though. Maybe find a friend who's removed from the situation and doesn't really know your best friend that well, or preferably not at all, and talk it through with them and see what they have to say. Maybe they won't give you a solution, but you'll probably feel somewhat more relieved after you've done so.

 

I think maybe you should bring these issues up with your counselor, if you have one. If you don't, I would definitely reccomend looking in to getting one because of your depression and anxiety.

 

If you really want her to know though, you should probably tell her straight. The only thing is that she might react badly to it and not want to talk to you again. However, if you want her to know, you have to tell her straight, because most people are emotionally immature, and they won't notice it unless you tell them directly.