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MARRIAGE! HELP!

I don't know where to begin. Im ready to break.

Firstly I do love my husband and I do want us to be together but I just can't take anymore.

He has not worked in the whole 4 years we have been together. We have 3 kids (2 from previous relationship). I have have promise after promise that things will change...guess what?...I'm still waiting for the changes.

He CONSTANTLY winds the kids up. He goes around all day acting like a clown saying stupid things and making stupid noises knowing it gets on everyone's nerves yet we are the ones that get moaned at when it's too much to take because he is "having a laugh". May I add that yes he is a bloody 26 year old grown man!

I'm not saying he doesn't have issues. He is an anxious person at times and gets nervous around people. It's just EVERYTHING IS down to me. I want to be able to lean on him for support too. I want to be able to have someone who takes control when things go to shit sometimes and helps sort things out.

I just want to cry. What the hell am I doing? Will things ever change?
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Re: MARRIAGE! HELP!

Hi @welsh lady, welcome to the ReachOut forums!

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of strength and courage to recognise that you would like things to change, and take the first step in seeking help. It sounds like you have been feeling quite frustrated and distressed with how things have been in your relationship lately.

 

RO has a whole section on relationships, including info on conflict and tips for communicating. Would you feel comfortable checking these out? It sounds like you have spoken to your husband about this in the past - perhaps there might be some strategies in there that you could use to communicate with him about how you have been feeling?

 

I see that you are based in the UK. Unfortunately, ReachOut is an Australian service for young people aged 14-25, so I'm not sure about support services that I could recommend to you. Is there anyone you trust that you could speak to about how you have been feeling?

 

 

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Re: MARRIAGE! HELP!

Hey, I read your post and feel we could be in semi-same conversations. My husband is a lovely man, I am 24 and he is 29 but I’m done with all the excuses on why he has to be so mean and angry at the time and everything and anything. I have really bad depression and aniexty at the moment and feel like I’m missing that part that keeps it all together cause he’s always so worried about everything else and everyone else but me sometimes. I feel like my feelings are considered but never really heard if that makes sense. I’m just as lost as you are at what to do....

I am ready to leave, and I feel emotionally I’m checking out and I don’t want that to happen.

so I’m here if you need to vent. Completely understand trying and feeling there is no trying back.

hope you have a good day.

 

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Re: MARRIAGE! HELP!

Hey @Mumma2layleo , I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time with your husband. It sounds like it would be so rough feeling like your feelings aren't being heard in your relationship,especially if you're also dealing with anxiety and depression as well. I'm wondering if you've ever tried couple's counselling with your husband at all?  It can help a lot to talk things through with a third party, especially if you're really struggling to make your feelings heard. 

 

Relationships Australia offer couple's counselling if you think this might be helpful - you can check out their website here, they also have online counselling options . 

Do you think your husband would be open to giving it a try? We are also here for you if you need to vent 

 

 

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