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Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.

Hey forum, 


I irritated by the potrayal of international students in Melbourne and Australia in general.


"So like your rich..."


" How does it feel for  mommy and daddy to pay for everything ? " ( Patronizing)


" Like you have money...."


" It's not fair you don't have to work.... "


" I feel bad you come from a  heaps Povo country"


Just the poor treatment i get for being honest that I'm an international student on a visa. I was just hurt by one person and peers made a passing comment.


2nd one in particular is makes me want to return the sledge to make sure to actually hurts because my parents have an awful relationship and I worry alot about how am I going to pay that 36k aud bill after Uni to the point of emotional break down due to the fear and negative outlook for traditional career options.


I have gone out of my way to find volunteer roles and take to bad unfulfilling ones and to the ones that's require more commitment and skill.


I took PT to get to these jobs and only have a bike to depend on to get around.  Learning English as an entirely different second language here. Coming from a rural part of a developing country during my intial upbringing.


Choosing australia just so I can have some form of protection from a form of suppression 


While I deal with the fear of getting turned down because I wasn't the right nationality or have the wrong visa.


Jesus, I apologise that didn't choose to be born in australia like I had the option to just hop on the wagon and say yeah nah let's get loose soon at the back of the Ute.


Many times my body has ached from my road bike.


While actual dole bludgers cheat the system by claiming benefits and having a job at the same time to feed their dumb habits and pay a much lower fees and are entitled to more scholarships purely on the basis on being born in western secular country which represent their interest no matter how trivial they are and bitch and moan about how easy migrants have it and how the government doesn't help them  by making them pay rego for the things they own.


While they live in with their parents and get full time paid work in retail for two years cause they can get a break  from uni and start when they like. And express their unfounded envy they have on who had it easy.


While owning 2 cars and earn the some the highest wages in world.


While I only have to depend on University staff and feel like some dependent incapable manchild going from Hall to hall to sort out my own wellbeing and working to ensure this professional understands me and my cultural  background. Worrying on how am I going to pay rent  and live on a fixed budget of 3000 aud for 5 months.


Whilst worrying about my insane fluctuationing exchange rate 


Cause both my parents can't cooperate in their own lives.


I'm just frustrated ,hurt and just didn't feel important in australian society as a person nor acknowledged and just the felt such a disingenuous motives against me personally.


I'm better now but just the comment took me. And can't be sure how to educate the uninformed soul.




Re: Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.

Hi @BunnyWalks it sounds so frustrating being portrayed or stereotyped given we are all individuals and have our own story to tell. Sometimes people can be culturally insensitive and not realise their words can be hurtful, even if that wasn't their intention. How are you looking after yourself today? Heart

Re: Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.

Actually I just felt hurt and anger from my parents opposition to move away from my country of origin Malaysia and disassociate from the traditional culture. I just don't share the passion nor priorities anymore for it anymore.

I think this hurt and anger cause i felt deprived and dimissed on what I was after wasn't important or had less worth.

Feeling deprived of encouragement does hurt too.

Dad ignoring me that dealing with mum is an actual effort and don't think neither of them put as much effort in their relationship as I do.

As well as feeling burnt out from counselling them while uni on my own time.

Don't think my efforts was appreciated and thinking of reducing the emotional support available to mum and dad and really putting my developement first.

How do I approach a professional with the situation I'm in ?

Our discussion on going to University was about them achieving what they wanted for Malaysia rather than going to University for myself for my own properity.

I didn't feel respected or taken seriously with doubt always being thrown my way.

Even just passing discouraging comments every 2 weeks about how expensive Australia is to the point of me choosing to skip dinner through out the semester and just felt me wanting to socially exclude myself.

Just so I can have excess cash through out the remains of the semester.

Also I reckon my generosity in listening and attending to their problems is not appreciated by both them and I don't find me wanting to careless in anyway is fundamentally wrong.

I don't see how am I being emotionally selfish when I've been opposite with them. I think I've taken critical damage emotionally and need to look out for me.

@Lan-RO what can I do ?

Re: Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.

Oh @BunnyWalks this sounds so incredibly stressful and intense

Image result for hug gif


I have read through and I can hear how much stress and worry you have right now. There is certainly a lot in your replies, and I’m not sure what to respond to. What would you say is the biggest thing right now?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.


I figure having that emotional stamina for my personal work and making sure I can enjoy myself in the new environment is important for me.

My therapist has identified some methods to maintain a healthy boundary. Example hanging up or excluding myself if it's not urgent.

Are their additional ways I can nuture myself socially rather just depending on the internet ?

Re: Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.

Hi @BunnyWalks. It sounds like a lot to dealing with. Do you know any other international students that maybe you could talk to about how your feeling? Or maybe your uni could help you get in touch with a social group?

Re: Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.

Who would I approach at uni ?

There are social events but when I get there I usually don't know what topics to pick as ice breakers.

Re: Misunderstood in Melbourne: Rant.

Hey @BunnyWalks, I'm pretty sure most uni's would have an International Student Advisor, or something like that. Would you feel comfortable talking to them? Alternatively you could approach a counsellor at your uni, and they could also help. Smiley Happy


I'm sorry about the stress, hurt and disrespect that you're having to deal with right now. That is not okay for people to be making those comments. I'm glad that you're speaking with your therapist about it, and that you have identified some boundaries that will be helpful to you.


Please let us know how you get on. Heart