Growing up in a Sri Lankan background family has been really tough for me. I’ve struggled to be a family with my family for as far as I can remember. Im a first year apprentice and I don’t earn much and everything I earn I pay off my fines and also I love food so I spend on food. Lately my father has been real abusive to me verbally. Knowing I don’t have any money with me he abusses me so much verbally that it makes me want to kill my self. The thoughts of how to suicide comes into mind. I recently joined Western Sydney uni to study because l lost my licence and my job fired me. With the remaining money I had, I bought my self a motorbike to work on at home so I can still Persue my interests and not just sit in my room
all the time. Mentally I think I’m broken. My father has affected me so much that I am unable to laugh or smile. I need help, I need to get away from this environment. I need peace. It’s not fun waking up each morning wanted to end my life, because just as my father says, maybe I am
Hi @LankanBeast, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing that with us. You sound like you have been really resourceful and persistent in whatever challenges life has thrown your way. That is such an amazing quality to have and it sure is hard to come by. It must not be easy to experience that abuse from your father as you are having these thoughts of being hopeless and worthless. I am sorry to hear that this is something you are going through and it is having a significant impact on your life. Are you able to keep safe tonight? Just so you know, we have guidelines surrounding how we communicate about suicide on this public forum. Please take a read If you need immediate support right now or are at risk of harming yourself, please contact these services.
Thank you very much for reaching out. I’ve read the guidelines, I don’t know how to put that into play. I just spoke open to mind. I’m very sorry if I wasn’t meant to. Tonight I’m sleeping in front of my house on the veranda chair. My father was yelling so much and was very abusive that I decided to just keep quiet and leave the house. I’m Just sleeping at the front.
Hey @LankanBeast please don't stress re. the guidelines, we know how difficult it can be to express how you're feeling, we just try to be a bit mindful when posting but the guidelines @Taylor-RO linked you to should help. How are things going for you today?