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NEED SOME ADVICE

I like someone I work with and we hung out the other day but since then haven’t spoken and I feel like maybe he’s ignoring me or maybe I’m just overthinking it. What should I do???

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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

I get these thoughts in my head when I'm building on my connections/friendships too, it can be really nerve-wracking sometimes Smiley Frustrated I've found that a great way to keep up momentum when I'm getting closer with someone is just to take a bit of initiative after spending time with them and I guess, debrief? Or something like that. I'll send them a text that says something like "Hey, I had a great time hanging out the other day Smiley Happy", and then a lot of the time that turns into a conversation and we plan another time to hang out. Or, it just means that we're on the same page next time we happen to see each other. Either one is good!

Have you been at work with this person since you hung out?

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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

I seen him at work 2 days ago and we didn’t speak at all.

 

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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

That must have felt uncomfortable, I'm sorry to hear it. Being in the workplace can really put a damper on things, since there's other things to do and typically you'll also have a boss who might tell you off for chatting to your coworkers. It reminds me of the dynamic between one of my coworkers and I; we got along really well right from the get go and started talking lots at work, but I got in trouble for it. There's been quite a few times since then that he's started to strike up a conversation with me and then I've shut him down to focus on my work. I think I might come across as cold in those situations, but I think he understands. Maybe your coworker is like me and really would like to spend time chatting and hanging out with you, just not at work.

Have you tried talking to him when you're both not at work?

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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

No I haven’t spoken to him outside of work but I was thinking to message but not sure what to message him. 

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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

Sometimes it can be really difficult to make the first move and text someone because it can be hard to think of what to say! Do you have anything specific that you want to say to him @Em66? Having a think about what you want to say might be a good place to start Smiley Happy. You could always message him something to do with work at first and then change the topic once you feel comfortable !
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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

I will maybe just say hi how are you and then ask if he enjoyed the other night with me. But I’m afraid and scared of what he will say or if he will reply cause I really like him.

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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

It sounds like you have a good plan sorted out @Em66. I understand that you are feeling afraid and scared, it can be scary when messaging someone for the first time. I hope that you feel less anxious soon!
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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

I messaged him saying how are you and he replied to that and I messaged if he enjoyed the other night with me after that and I still have no reply. He usually replies quick but he’s not. I’m still feeling very anxious about this cause I really like him 

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Re: NEED SOME ADVICE

Hi @Em66, sorry to hear that you are feeling really anxious. Waiting for a reply can be a really difficult feeling to sit with. There can be so many reasons why someone has not replied to us. Did you end up hearing from them? Smiley Happy