cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Highlighted

Re: Need some advice on family during covid.19

Hi, thank you for your kind message. I will try to use hotlines again if things get too much again, I have previously had a good experience with them so thank you for the reminder to look after myself to not just my family. 

Re: Need some advice on family during covid.19

Hey @A_Friend 

 

Firstly...I think you are really brave for putting this out there. It’s super duper okay to reach out about this...because I myself and a lot of others are going through similar situations. When I was reading ur post, I was mentally agreeing and ticking off things I can relate to 😆. I understand how you feel about being so isolated...when all you want is for your family to bring you up...not tear you down. I have personally found Reach Out to be super helpful when things get especially tough at home. The people here are just so supportive and are just willing to listen. 

I want to say that the biggest thing I have had to come to terms with is what I have control over and what I don’t. As much as I want my family to be my support system...I have had to accept that they sometimes aren’t. And that’s okay, even though it definitely doesn’t seem like it right now. If things don’t go the way that I need them to...I have found that it’s best to just say, “It’s alright” and focus on things important to me. Speaking of, do you have any thing that you particularly like doing as a hobby? I find it’s super helpful to get my mind distracted - whether that be watching a classic movie, or painting, or simply just listening to music and staring at the wall (it doesn’t sound that pleasing...but it oddly works. 😝) - especially when it goes down that gloom and doom spiral.

 

I feel that...this time has been particularly draining for you. The most important thing to remember is that...you’re here. You’re managing...and finding your way through even though life throws a few curveballs here and there. I think that’s so brave, and so courageous of you. I often needed someone to tell me that it’s going to be okay...and as cliche as it is..I want to tell you the same. It’s going to be...awesome. Things will work out, just hang in there and keep being yourself. You’re doing great ❤️

Highlighted

Re: Need some advice on family during covid.19

@StarGirl101 thank you for such a kind message. My favourite hobby for times like this is watching anything that distracts me for a little while and I also like to if I need to take the time to check-in with myself to see what I need or desire. I will be reminding myself that everything will be alright and that its okay that everything is perfect for sure. I hope that things are going well for you and that if not your remembering to take your own great advice.

Highlighted

Re: Need some advice on family during covid.19

Hey @A_Friend 

 

I'm so SO glad you reached out. I can definitely relate to you and I can truly empathise with how hard things can be when you're often the family support. I also have a sister, but a younger one. She's struggled with anxiety and depression for about 5 years now- getting much better now (yay!), but I do have to say, the journey has been tough. 

 

My parents didn't really understand mental health and often got upset and angry with her when they thought she was just being lazy or annoying or attention-seeking, when really it was because of her mental health. As someone who wanted to be educated about mental health, I tried my best to educate myself and then educate my parents. I ended up being the support for both my sister whilst she went through very tough depressive episodes and my parents who often just could not fathom or understand exactly why she was acting differently. I ended up taking everyone's emotions and loading them onto myself, without giving myself some downtime. Everything on top of my own perfectionist self eventually led to me being diagnosed with anxiety and for a while, I refused to get help because I thought it made me weaker than I had to be for everyone else. I guess I thought- if they rely on me, how can I be this weak? 

 

A few years ago, it hit me that I really had to focus on myself if I wanted to best support them too. I started seeing a psychologist, made sure I stuck to some hobbies that made me feel good, used the headspace app for meditation and focused my energy on studying. I'm currently doing a psychology degree! I'm super passionate about mental health now, and my family and I are doing so much better than a few years ago. So there's definitely hope! I know it can be hard, but you just need to make sure overall, that you make sure you are ok. Self-care is seriously so, so important. Maybe talk to a psychologist yourself and spend more time doing what makes you happy.

 

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I hope sharing my experience gives you some relief and hope. Keep me posted! I'm so happy to help Heart

Highlighted

Re: Need some advice on family during covid.19

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me and I dont apologise for the lengthy post it really reminded there is hope. Im so glad to hear that things are better for you and your family, I am too studying psychology. I will defintely be continuing to make time to do what makes me happy and time for myself a priority. I hope that your studying is going well Heart