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No friends

Hi guys. 
I’m really struggling with the fact I have no friends. 
ive been really sick for the past 6 years and have never had a true friend. But I’m getting jealous of other people that have friends and that can go out and have fun. 
I’m really not sure what to do Smiley Sad 

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Re: No friends

Hello @Ba184, I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling with not having much social support lately. It must have been hard to go out and socialise and meet new people as you have been dealing with sickness over the last six years. I am wondering if you have had the chance to join any social groups before? Sometimes hobby/interest groups can be a great place to meet new people and socialise. A quick look online might be useful for finding some local or online groups (maybe they organise zoom chats). Do you have any hobbies or interests that you love and would want to talk with others about? Smiley Happy

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Re: No friends

Hi @Ba184
having a true best friend can be really difficult. It can REALLY take a long time for a person to find one because it is hard to find someone who have similar interest and word views with you and willing to support you (everyone is soo different). I take almost 5 years to find my current best friend. I think you can still hang out with normal friends or new friends, and then you can know more about this person's personalities and hobbies through interaction.
You can also try something new that you have not try before (but you are also interested in), and you can meet more new people, then you will have higher chance to find your true friend through these interactions. And sometimes, true friend can magically appear and your friend that you previously known (or classmates) can become your true friend in one day because we are all growing, our views and hobbies will change gradually and can become similar with previous friends.
This progress is really hard and takes a long time, but I think it is normal to struggle, most of us are struggling with finding a true friend at some points of life.
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Re: No friends

Hiya @Ba184  thanks for posting here- this is a caring, compassionate place where you can express how you feel. Everyone has said some great things so far- if you are making to make connections/socialisation/have fun here, you can try these threads: 

 

https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Hanging-out/Introduce-Yourself-Here-OCTOBER-2020/td-p/411526/jump-...

 

https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Hanging-out/Memes-other-funny-stuff/td-p/151184/jump-to/first-unre...

 

https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Hanging-out/How-s-everyone-s-day-going/td-p/410468/jump-to/first-u...

 

Hope these help!

 

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Re: No friends

Hey @Ba184 I'm really sorry you're feeling like this. Feeling like you have no social group and no one to spend quality time with can be really difficult and I feel like a lot of people go through periods like this- myself included. I can imagine it would make it incredibly difficult to make friends because of your sickness as well. Have you tried reaching out to other young people with your condition? Maybe they will be able to relate to what you're going through and will be experiencing something similar themselves. 

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Re: No friends

@Ba184 I'm sorry you're feeling this way. How is your health right now? Is it an option for you to join online programs if you're not feeling up to a face-to face one? If there's a community service/youth service organisation or a library near you, it's worth checking if they have something you may like and connect with people who like the same thing Smiley Happy

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Re: No friends

Hey I totally get how you feel. There was a time where I didn't have many (if any) close friends that I could confide in and that was a difficult time. Friendships are important but they also take time to develop.

 

A recent friend I made has a similar circumstance as you described. She has an autoimmune condition and for years she was hospitalised and in pain, to the point where she stopped going to school. But she's also one of the most sociable, funny, lovely human beings I've encountered and she constantly puts herself out there and over time she was able to make friends!!

 

I think the fact that you're wondering about it is such a good first step. There are many ways to make friends as well, such as hobby groups, online events, enrolling in a course, meetups or online volunteering Smiley Happy it's a length but worthwhile process. I believe in you!

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Re: No friends

Hi @Ba184 

 

I hope you're doing well! I just wanted to check in and say I feel you! Having true friends can sometimes be challenging, especially in the climate we're in right now with COVID and everything. I'm sure you are such a lovely person and the right people will become your true friends. People who love you for you and accept you for you and will genuinely care a lot about you. 

Some tips that worked for me are doing more extracurricular activities and just trying my best to put myself out there! The best advice I personally have is being me- sounds corny i know Smiley LOL 

But really! I think when I was truly myself, other people noticed me and all my weirdness and slowly embraced me. 

 

What are some things that you have tried? And do you think you might be able to give the things above a shot? 

 

I hope you're doing much better Heart We're here for you on the forums to listen whenever you need it!

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Re: No friends

Hi @Ba184 

 

I hope you are feeling okay. Understand that you do deserve friends and that making true friends takes time and most people will go through patches where they feel the most alone. Know that this community is here for you and that I am too. I went through this stage and in a way, I still am as I try to find the best group of friends that I really resonate the best with. Something that I did when I really didn't have much people around me, was join forums and discord servers of games that I enjoyed. I'm not sure if you play video games but if you do, I recommend trying to join many online communities and ask for help or advice, or simply people to play with, as this can become the start of some friendships and that has been the case for me. You can also do this for other interests such as TV shows, cooking, and book clubs as there are plenty of online communities that can lead to great friendships. Additionally, this is even more advised due to COVID restrictions.

 

Hope you are well friend Smiley Happy

 

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